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Author: redsavina Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 7630  
Subject: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 2:57 PM
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Hey Frissy,

I'd like to talk about this virginity thing, and about you in general. If you can keep from responding to loser boys, it might be a productive and enlightening discussion. I'm not doing this to bait you and I'll try to be less mean than usual.

So, tell us about yourself. Specifically, what's the deal with your using your status as a virgin as an identity and branding strategy? I've known people who have acted like this and it makes no sense to me; they talk incessantly about being a virgin, how virgins do this or think that or whatever (like you're a different race or species or something).

Now, I know you're not one of these Mary Whatsername who advocates no kissing or handholding for two years, nor do I think you're a virgin for freaky repressed religious reasons. Also, I've seen your pictures (e.g. the one with your hair twisty thing) and you're attractive*, so it's not like you couldn't get laid if you really wanted to.

And yet it's virgin this and virgin that. So my questions are:

1. Do you secretly want to NOT be a virgin, but are just doing the Virgin And Proud Of It thing to justify the fact that you haven't had sex yet at the age of [whatever--early 30's maybe?]

2. I had this friend who pretended to her parents she was pure and virginal so they would continue to love her and support her, but secretly she ****ed every guy in the biology department and half of the English department, but would then announce to [name of guy du jour] that she didn't believe in premarital sex. Are you doing this, only without the actual sex? Do you think that if you went ahead and did the nasty, you'd have somehow betrayed your former convictions, even though you have possibly now outgrown them?

3. Or are you serious about saving it for marriage, and just can't shut up about it? Are you this yakkety-yakkety about every other thing in your life, and Virgin And Proud Of It is just one of those things?

4. Are you saving it for the wedding night, or for when he gives you a Big Diamond Ring? Or do you have another milestone indicator?

5. Other (please explain).

Your new friend,

redsavina




*note to all the people who make sport of frissy for being fat: yeah, she's overweight. She admits it and she talks about it. A lot of people are overweight and yet they still manage to have sex and even have other people fall in love with them and be attracted to them. As much fun as it is to mock the roly-poly, I think maybe those who mock frissy are doing it because she's obnoxious and frequently clueless. Heck, maybe they're mocking her because she's fat and still basically likes herself and maybe even thinks of herself as cute, instead of properly self-loathing because we all know fat people are weak and stupid and don't deserve the right to the happiness reserved for the rest of us. This is pure speculation, but you know what I mean.
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Author: dlkeiley Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6031 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:01 PM
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nor do I think you're a virgin for freaky repressed religious reasons


I'm pretty sure jeebus told her to just say no.

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6032 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:02 PM
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She is virgin exactly for freaky religious reasons.

6

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Author: redsavina Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6033 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:08 PM
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She is virgin exactly for freaky religious reasons.

Noted.

But somehow it doesn't ring true. I'm not convinced that she's convinced it's Jeebus-wrong.

red

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Author: Kasuma724 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6034 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:13 PM
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Frankly I don't frequent the same boards and don't really know if she talks about it all....

But maybe she talks about it so much to counteract the general assumption that "everyone is doing it". The fact is that some people are NOT doing it... as a conscious choice that has nothing to do with repression, fear or any negative thing. Some people believe that waiting is worth it. Period. Why should that bug you so much? Or do you assume that anyone who has religious faith and attempts to live accordingly, is automatically freaky?

Kas
(not a virgin, but would be if she knew then what she knows now)

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Author: sugarski Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6035 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:15 PM
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I've seen your pictures (e.g. the one with your hair twisty thing)

Link please.

you haven't had sex yet at the age of [whatever--early 30's maybe?]

She's 26.

She's also more likely to respond to this if you spell it "frissy."

sugarski, involuntary knower of frissy details

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6036 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:17 PM
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Or do you assume that anyone who has religious faith and attempts to live accordingly, is automatically freaky?

I do, whether they try to live accordingly or not. Maybe "freaky" is the wrong word. The right word is somewhere in between "stupid" and "delusional".

6

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Author: Kasuma724 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6037 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:19 PM
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<,I do, whether they try to live accordingly or not. Maybe "freaky" is the wrong word. The right word is somewhere in between "stupid" and "delusional".>>


Let me guess... you don't like religious people because THEY are so intolerant......

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6038 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:21 PM
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Let me guess... you don't like religious people because THEY are so intolerant......

Um, no, I just said it's because they're somewhere between stupid and delusional. Pay attention.

6

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Author: redsavina Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6039 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 3:31 PM
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Why should that bug you so much?

It doesn't bug me at all. In fact, one of my all-time favorite TMF imaginary friends (Karl) saved it for marriage, and he did it partly for religous/moral reasons. I just want to know what frissy's deal is.

Or do you assume that anyone who has religious faith and attempts to live accordingly, is automatically freaky?

That's a separate issue. I recommend you not pursue that line of questioning on this board unless you want to get squashed like an ant.

red

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6040 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 4:56 PM
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Thank you for the nice things you said about me (even if you did get my name wrong! LOL!)

Okay, so *MY* post in response is not meant to generate debate on religion, whose religion is right, whose God is true, and whether or not there is a God, or if He gives a flip what we do down here. It's just what I believe. If I make a statement that sounds like a fact, but you disagree with it, please don't try to act like I think my opinions are fact.

That being said, a LOT of things have impacted my decision to wait for sex until marriage.

Virgin is just one way of being. (No, I don't mean to quote Firefly here, it just happens to be true, plus I was saying that WAY before Joss Whedon wrote the script.) I'm comfortable with it. I've always planned on saving sex for my wedding night. Since I was way too young to even fully understand what sex was.

I was not raised religious. Anything but. My parents married way too young, I believe in part because they were guilted into it by their parents because they were living together. Not that my grandparents are moral pillars by any means.

My father was born out of wedlock as the result of my grandmother's affair with a married man. She only got married later because her next love affair with an American stationed near her home town resulted in yet another pregnancy. So she married Don, and moved to the US, and had 3 more kids, at least one of which we all suspect is not Don's.

My mother, on the other hand, along with her sisters, was molested for years by her father, with the full knowledge of Grandma. You gotta kind of figure that a guy in his 30's marrying a 15 year old ain't quite right.

So, anyway, my parents who should not have married when they did, if ever, did, and had us two girls. My father was a cheater from day 1. (hmmm...maybe that's Grandma's genes at work?) I was raised watching two people use sex as a weapon against each other. It was easy for even a 7 year old to see that that was not healthy, and that sex outside of a marriage caused problems in the marriage. What should have been something beautiful, became something ugly and horrible. Instead of sex being the union of two souls and bodies, it became a way to punish. And, despite the severe abuse my mother suffered, she couldn't bring herself to leave my father, until the second time her put her in the hospital.

Mom went on to a "career" of prostitution at times (when ever drug trafficing wasn't enough to cover the bills, or when she smoked up too much of her profits). This was around the time I developed my eating disorder. Mom got pregnant by one of her boyfriends (only after Hailey was about 8 or so, and her nose was really developing, did we figure out which guy was her father), cleaned up, and moved back home to her mother, where my aunt tried to get her to go to church (the church I worship with now).

My mother drug me behind her on her spiritual quest (on which she is still embarked, BTW.) She's been everything but Jewish, and I'm pretty sure if it weren't so difficult to convert, she'd have tried that, too. I started going to church when I was 12, and was baptized, but somewhere between then and HS graduation, I dabbled in Wicca and paganism. (I was way into astrology, reflexology, herbs, stones, etc)

I was still into "savin' it", however. There were too many consequences for a few minutes of pleasure, as I saw it. My mother was extremely lucky that all she got out of her abusive relationships were a few broken bones and a few kids. For years, we weren't allowed to use the same razor as her to shave our legs, because of the risk of HIV.

Now that I am back to church and doing the whole good little Christian thing, I see why God says not to do it. He's not about ruining the fun. He wants it to be special, holy, and something to bring you closer to your partner. Not something to be used as a weapon or a wedge.

And that goes for a lot of other things we "aren't supposed to do". I find that when I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, I feel calmer and more at peace. Anyone who's been through a 12-step program for any kind of addiction should know exactly what I'm talking about. When you go and make peace with the people you've hurt, it's like a huge weight is lifted off of you. That's a scriptural principle at work there - Mark 11:25-26.

So, really, the virginity thing, while spiritual, isn't religious, per se.


And this was probably WAY more than you thought you were going to have to read, huh?

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6041 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 5:08 PM
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Oh, and to answer your other questions:

1. Of course I don't WANT TO be a virgin. I've never been secretive about that at all! I WANT to be married and popping out a couple babies and being a mommy. That's my dream job: Housewife and Mommy!

2. Nope. I really am a virgin. And I feel like if I went ahead and had sex, I would be stealing from my future husband. I don't want my husband to be having sex with other women, why would I do that to him? My convictions are only a part of the reason I won't. Disease, unwanted pregnancy, innappropriate emotional attachments are all reasons I won't.

3. I'm pretty much a yakker. My parents used to call me chatter box. I don't like to say that I'm proud of it, but I don't think that it's anything to be ashamed of, either. People talk about school, work, medical conditions, the weather - this is just one more thing to talk about. No one ever seems this offended or affronted when listening to someone's description of a great sex life. It's interesting to me to hear replies from people who think that there's something wrong with me for being 26 and having never even kissed a guy. (And no, that's not because I'm saving that for marriage - I just haven't found a guy that I want to kiss that wants to kiss me enough to ask me to kiss him.)

4. Wedding night or the next morning, depending on how fast we can get out of the reception. I'm thinking a Saturday morning wedding is ideal.

5. You left this one blank, so I'll fill in with my own question: "Are you a prude?"

Heck no! You should see the shopping list I have for my honeymoon! There are only three things I plan on refusing to try with my husband: Porn, anal, anything unsanitary or demeaning. (okay, I guess technically that's more than three things, but it's three catergories!)


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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6042 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 5:10 PM
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But maybe she talks about it so much to counteract the general assumption that "everyone is doing it". The fact is that some people are NOT doing it... as a conscious choice that has nothing to do with repression, fear or any negative thing. Some people believe that waiting is worth it. Period. Why should that bug you so much? Or do you assume that anyone who has religious faith and attempts to live accordingly, is automatically freaky?

I actually don't talk about it as much as everyone seems to think I do.

I for one don't understand why everyone's so dang interested in my vagina, but it seems like once it comes up, no one wants to drop it.

I think people are intimidated by stuff they don't understand, and those that are so hard on me about my virginity don't understand why someone would CHOOSE to remain a virgin on purpose.

Plus I'm sure that the whole religion thing freaks them out, too!

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6043 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 5:11 PM
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http://photos.yahoo.com/frissyjunk

My annual Christmas photo is in there.

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6044 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 5:13 PM
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btw, red, you do know that there is a WHOLE BOARD called frissy's Eff'd Up Life, right?



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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6045 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 5:13 PM
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Wait!

People make fun of me for being fat?!

Golly, they can't come up with anything good?!

I've got about a BILLION faults, and the only string they're playing is I'm fat?!

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6046 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 5:19 PM
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And this was probably WAY more than you thought you were going to have to read, huh?

Actually it's way more than I thought I WOULD read if you wrote it, and I think you should get a lot of credit for taking action to avoid repeating mistakes that you've seen cost people in the past.

6

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6047 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 5:24 PM
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Actually it's way more than I thought I WOULD read if you wrote it, and I think you should get a lot of credit for taking action to avoid repeating mistakes that you've seen cost people in the past.

Thank you. I do believe it's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, and it means quite a bit.

I actually do enjoy your barbs and your extreme sarcasm, you know.


frissy,
I think YOU are the best swimdad doppel!

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Author: sugarski Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6048 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/20/2005 6:43 PM
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http://photos.yahoo.com/frissyjunk

Wow, you're really pretty.

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6055 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/21/2005 12:57 PM
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Well, I don't see it, but everyone says it, so THANKS!



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Author: redsavina Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6056 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/21/2005 1:39 PM
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You should see the shopping list I have for my honeymoon! There are only three things I plan on refusing to try with my husband: Porn, anal, anything unsanitary or demeaning.

In that case, don't spend your honeymoon stripping old wallpaper. Two hours of that and you'll be begging for anal.

red

ps Seriously, friss. I have mucho respect for the gracious way you answered my questions, which were basically none of my business even though I did want to know what your deal was.

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6057 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/21/2005 1:51 PM
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In that case, don't spend your honeymoon stripping old wallpaper. Two hours of that and you'll be begging for anal.

If it's anything like stripping up old linoleum tile that was glued down with something resembling honey, I concur!

"Strip the wall paper, or anal? Get the big dildo, TYVM!"




ps Seriously, friss. I have mucho respect for the gracious way you answered my questions, which were basically none of my business even though I did want to know what your deal was.


Well, you asked politely, and if I didn't want to answer I would have either ignored you or told you to STFU. If you need me to explain sumpin' else, ask away. I think MOST of you gals here rock - that's why I lurk and occassionally post. (Duh)

As far as why I answered - I figured I had a 50/50 shot between being understood or being made fun of. Honestly, I don't mind when people mock me, as long as they do it in a way that I can laugh, too. I mean, people, if you are going to insult me, at least be original. Sheesh.

Seriously? The best they can come up with is I'm fat?!

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Author: juliewinter Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6058 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/21/2005 1:53 PM
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The best they can come up with is I'm fat?!
____
It's either that or you're too old.
Not a lot of options.

JW

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6059 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/21/2005 2:12 PM
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26 is old?

C'mon people! I have so many personality faults!

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Author: redsavina Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6060 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/21/2005 2:16 PM
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26 is old?

No, dumbass, she didn't mean you.

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Author: llamalluv Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 6062 of 7630
Subject: Re: World of Frissy Date: 1/21/2005 2:58 PM
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Ohhhh...

got it

frissy
lil' slow on the uptake today

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