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Author: bangar8 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 42290  
Subject: Re: Outsourcing parenting Date: 5/22/2007 9:34 AM
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You just don't get it. It's not about the bike.

I do get and yes, its not about the bike. Since that was the example mentioned, I just replied in that context, saying that though some things look bad on paper, they are not necessarily bad things.

What you should get is that parents (including yourself and your wife) are not going to teach/share with their kids each and every experience they (the kids) go through. And with each parent, what they do with their kids is different.
For example, I or my husband will go out with our daughter to teach her a bike (because, unlike where I grew up - in a very safe neighborhood, on a street with no fast traffic, and with lots of kids who all came out in the evenings to play), as thats the only safe option for her to learn it now.
But I won't teach her to bake cookies or cakes (can't do it myself) and if she is so inclined will send her to a class.
While my father did not spend too much time running behind me, or doing other things which you think are important for a father to do, so far he is one of the best role models for a father that I have seen. My mother never taught me one thing in the kitchen (does not know how to delegate, she is too fast to wait for help, and she always wanted me and my sister to be studying rather than doing chores) but she is the type who would break her back for the sake of her family. Just because she did not share kitchen time with us does in no way take away from her mothering abilities.

So, it would do you good to remember that for each and every thing you share with your kids, other parents share different things and that makes neither you nor them bad parents. And if a parent feels the need to use outside help to impart new skills to their kids, then more power to them and good for the kids.

LOL, if I choose to teach piano to DD, that would be unleashing a monstrous joke on the world!! OTOH, I do hope she will learn to sing from her dad.
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