Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
No. of Recommendations: 47
you know it's a bad day when...
Caterpillar, the biggest maker of earth moving equipment, turned up late in the day on an upgrade from G-Sachs to $77. Traders speculated that the raining down of fire and brimstone to punish sinners would likely cause a slowdown in commercial construction but would cause a ramp up in sales of earth moving equipment.

you know it's a bad day when...
the only company to make intraday gains in the S&P was DDT Corp., a leading provider of pest control services, rose $1.27 or 6 percent, to 23.36 as traders speculated the company would benefit from the coming locust plague.

you know it's a bad day when...
John Titus, who oversees $7 billion as chief executive officer of Domitian Capital Management in New York said "I saw a 7-headed dragon flying around outside my window,", He further commented "I don't care what the existing home sales number is, this can't be good."

you know it's a bad day when...
Jacob Censer, a Senior Vice President at Bear Stearns & Co. in New York announces... "Our firm plans to be the first to offer digital futures contracts on the date of the Rapture. There are always opportunities in any market or apocalyptic scenario. We think this is a great recovery strategy."

you know it's a bad day when...
Well Fargo decides to end it's "drive by, honk, and get a home equity loan" program. Tightened lending standards will require customers go in the drive-thru window.

St. Louis Fed President William Poole, speaking before the Little Rock Chamber of Commerce was more blunt. "I was going to talk about the declining savings rate, but, really... I'm tired of this bullsh*t. Does anybody have a flask?"
Print the post  


What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and Glassdoor #1 Company to Work For 2015! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.