You might be a cyclist if ...· You tell a family of five in a crowded mall to "hold their line".· Your wife says "if you buy another bike I'm going to leave you" and you think "I guess I'm going to miss her."· You rub chamois cream in your underwear.· You have more water bottles than you have drinking glasses· Virtually the only time you ride in a car is to get to cycling events.· Your first inclination upon hearing the number 26x24x35, is that it's a funky new triple chain ring setup offered by Shimano, instead of the measurements of the hottest Playmate of the Month.· You're legs are smoother than your wife's.· The nicest pair of shoes you own have cleats in the soles.· You sulk when in cars, on hot days.· You sulk when in cars, on cold, windy days.· When anybody mentions a distance you immediately think how long it would take to cycle it.· You point at pot holes - but you are driving in your car alone.· While driving your car you yell at your passenger, "car back" as a vehicle approaches from behind.· Your bike is worth more than your car.· Weather forecasts can be broken down into two categories: Good biking weather and great biking weather.· You put your bicycle in your car, and the value of the total package increases by a factor of 4.· You plan your vacations around your favorite rides· You can't seem to get to work before 8:30 AM, even for important meetings but you don't have any problems at all meeting your buddies at 5:30 AM for a hammer fest.· Your 5 year old bicycle gets far better treatment than your new $40,000 car.· You tell your wife with a straight face that it's too hot to mow the lawn and then bike off for a century.· You hope that your first baby will be born late, so you can make it to the bike tour & swap meet that's scheduled on the arrival date· You dream of winning the lottery, and the first thing you think of is "how many bikes can that money buy?"· You go out to a movie with your biking friends, and all that you can talk about after is biking stuff.· You grab for the magazine at the newsstand with the title "Classic Bikes" and realize it's those motorized things.· You buy a car based on whether or not a bike will fit in the back, with the rear seat folded down· You drill holes in titanium parts to make them lighter.· You risk life and limb in a traffic accident to check out a bike going the opposite direction.· You don't watch 'Baywatch' reruns because the babes don't have good quads.· You have not one, not two, but three permanent chain ring scars on your right calf.· Your New Years resolution is to put more miles on your bike than on your car. ... and you do it.· You get to work at 7:00AM to avoid rush hour. You work late to avoid rush hour.· Your cadence is exactly 90, but you have no idea what your speed is.· You hear someone's had a crash and your first question is "How's the bike?"· Your car gets broken into and your hard drive crashes in the same month and by far your biggest concern is why the bottom bracket on your road bike is making a clicking noise.· You're driving a car, and you come to a downhill followed by an uphill, and you feel the need to push a bit harder going down so that the uphill will be easier.· You're driving a car, come to a stop sign or light, and find yourself making that funny heel motion to get out of your clipless pedals in time for the stop.· You crash ... and insist on getting the bike to the shop to be checked out BEFORE you get yourself to the hospital to be checked out.· Your Windows wallpaper/screensaver is the latest TDF map.· Everyone else on the company spa/resort retreat goes shopping in fine shops for cloths and antiques, but you (of course) are only interested in the local bike shop.· Everyone else on this same retreat is busily getting spa treatments, playing tennis and being pampered, while you're persuading buddies to find the local bike rental spot.· You actually consider your bikes "decorative furnishings" in the living room of your brand new apartment.· You choose the location of the brand new apartment solely because the riding is good.· Your kid brings a rear derailleur to "Show & Tell."· You know EXACTLY how to fit 3 bikes into the trunk of your car.· You disassemble, clean and reassemble your bike in your living room.· You finally break down and get a VCR because ESPN is showing bike racing while you're at work.· The mere sight of the words L'Alpe D'Huez makes the muscles in your legs tight.· You traded what was your dream car in for something that makes a better 'sag wagon'.· Your resting heart rate is lower than the local speed limit.· Any mention of nipples makes you wonder where you left your spoke wrench.· The onset of lactic acid brings a smile to your face.· Your Italian bike sees more of the road than your German car.· You come home after a wet, cold and muddy ride, and the first thing you do, with your damp clothes still on, you clean your bike very carefully.· You check out all other guys/girls legs to se if they are "better" than yours.· Your wife can't take it anymore and takes up cycling.· You know all the acronyms related to tube sets, (MAX, el/os), why one is better than the other, the weights of each and own at least two of them.· You get a little hungry at work and you reach around to your back for something to snack on.· Your photo album have more pictures of your bikes than your family members.