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Author: TradewindRider One star, 50 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 4337  
Subject: YOUR MOST URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUESTED Date: 10/18/2002 4:52 PM
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DEAR FOOLS,

MY NAME IS DR. JOSEPH KABILA MOBUTU SKILLING, SECRETLY ADOPTED SON OF FORMER ENRON CFO JEFFERY SKILLING AND I HOPE THIS LETTER FINDS YOU WELL AND INGENUOUS. I AM WRITING TO YOU WITH AN URGENT PROPOSAL TO SAVE MY FAMILY FROM FURTHER HUMILIATION AND DISGRACE AT THE HANDS OF THE FORMER ENRON EMPLOYEES AND OTHER HARD LUCK CASES WHOSE FAITH AND LOYALTY WE PREYED ON SO PROFITABLY.

MY FATHER AS YOU KNOW WAS CONVICTED ON FRAUD CHARGES AND WILL SOON BE WEARING FAT PINSTRIPES AND SHACKING UP WITH SOME GUY NAMED BUBBA NATURALLY THIS HAS CAUSED OUR FAMILY MUCH HARDSHIP AND WE NEED HELP IN ESCAPING FURTHER PERSECUTION. FORTUNATELY WHILE I WAS WORKING AT ENRON COVERING CASH WITH BLACK GREASE AND SHREDDING DOCUMENTS I WAS ABLE TO SET ASIDE A SUM OF MONEY EXTRACTED FROM 401K ACCOUNTS AND KICKBACKS FROM ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTING FEES. I HAVE ASSEMBLED A TOTAL OF FOUR HUNDRED NINETEEN DOLLARS ($US 419) WHICH I HOPE TO INVEST IN OTHER VENTURES SUITABLE TO MY FAMILYS HONOR SUCH AS LOANSHARKING OR CONGRESSIONAL LOBBYING. THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN. I SEEK SOMEONE WHOSE GREED OUTWEIGHS HIS MORALITY AND COMMON SENSE TO ASSIST US WITH THE EXPENDITURE OF THIS LOOT. NO DOUBT I WILL BE PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY BEFORE LONG SO I URGE YOU TO CONTACT ME RIGHT AWAY.

PLEASE HURRY AS OBVIOUSLY DUE TO OUR SITUATION WE ARE BARELY ABLE TO FEED OURSELVES AND PAY OUR SERVANTS. IN FACT IM TYPING THIS FROM AN OLD ATT TELETYPE THAT ONLY PRINTS CAPITAL LETTERS SO YOU CAN SEE THE DIRE STRAITS WE ARE IN (YES WE ARE THE SULTANS OF SWEAT AT PRESENT). YOUR DESIRE TO MAKE THIS TRANSACTION TRANSPARENT AND YET FULLY HIDDEN WILL BE MOST HELPFUL.

YOURS MOST SINCERELY,
DR. JOSEPH KABILA MOBUTU SKILLING
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