Your story was very touching. I went thru a similar experience with my best friend from high school. We were friends for many years until he died recently. In the years following high school, we kept in touch via regular mail and occasional visits. Then when e-mail became popular we wrote to each other more frequently. Since high school he was diagnosed with a condition which I never thought would be life threatening but instead controllable. One day, on Father's Day of 1997, his dad called and announced his death. I was shocked! On short notice, I quickly notified some friends and we attended his funeral the next day. For many days and months and years afterwards, I thought about him. He was a brother that I never had. Many of those thoughts were guilt of not have had spent more time together. But looking back, I realized that I had done my part, I had visited him at least once a year (even though we lived a few hours away), emails, etc. so that I shouldn't feel this way. The only sad thing is that I have lost contact with his wife (even with previous attempts) and family.