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Author: impolite Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 5015  
Subject: Re: maybe not "everyday" Date: 3/14/2013 2:58 PM
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You've been on the other side of the situation (as the spouse who found out after the affair was over), I do wonder what you think? Would you have wanted to know if he was only working with the woman and had not ever taken the attraction to the next level?

Not the OP, but as one who's first marriage ended due to the other's infidelity, I can tell you I would not want to know if it was just attraction. My gawd that happens to everyone, which is why it was so devistating that cheating DID occur - after all, I was able to be attracted and not act, why didn't he put in the same effort?

What I mean is: attraction is expected. Acting on it is NOT. I wouldn't want to know about just attraction because damn, I already feel bad about how big my butt is, to hear out loud that my husband has a crush on someone else would be hurtful and non-productive.

More to the point: how is the BSC lady doing these days? Did either she or your DH ever tell her husband? Were you able to distance yourself from her without upsetting your kids?

Yes, all that, if you are willing to share!

impolite
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