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5. I forgot to add this one. That just as you cut into the bird, your pregnant sister (girlfriend, cousin, ex-wife, etc.) gets labor pains cutting into her. This happened in my family and that's how I got here.

6. That all of the teenage girls in the family manage to talk one of the teenage boys into letting them dress him up in a prom dress and plaster him with a ton of makeup--and surprise the family after dinner with his entrance--and a particular humorless sorta-relative is there to be outraged that his children were exposed to something so horrid.

Madeline--who thinks our family should give a humor test before admitting new members...
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