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Subject:  Re: Poll: I say "Hook the Fool up" Date:  4/26/2000  10:18 PM
Author:  gailcalled Number:  3730 of 20791

Being the Mother of 5 Sons, and 3 daughters, I have chosen two, of my Sons to be my Executors...
because I don't trust Wives. I really don't like the way they look at my jewelry or other things of value.
I figure that my Daughters can ask their Brothers for any of my possessions.
My question is: Have any of you Fools come up against this situation? Am I doing the right thing?

Dear Kelly: My experience is that you should treat all your children equally unless there is a medical reason not to. Making your daughters have to ask their brothers for possessions is demeaning and infantilizing. Being a daughter whose father treated his son as an adult and his daughters as stupid and incapable of "understanding," I know how resentful and angry I felt.

You can go around the room with your own children and ask them what they want. Just put a label on the bottom of object with child's name on it or write out a list, of jewelry, say. The inlaws of both sexes have nothing to do with your estate. I was left with the feeling that my father didn't trust me or think of me, ever as an adult. I am 63 now and still get mad when I think about it. May you live a long and heathly life. Gailcalled
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