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Subject:  Re: helping out family Date:  9/13/2000  4:16 PM
Author:  Catleen Number:  44184 of 312293


I just had to answer your post.

Now I just have to ask this: Did your sister know about the previous bankruptcy when she married him? If not, then that tells me that they have a real basic communications problem. Did she get married and then find out there is a problem? Same deal.

Another question for you: How would you feel if you gave your sister the loan of 10k and her husband had not changed his way. So he spends your money and they go bankrupt anyway? Can you afford this??? Is this going to take every penny that you have saved up.

This is going to sound harsh so please excuse me. I know that you feel badly for the situation that your sister happens to be in at present. The fact that she is very pregnant doesn't help. She certainly does not need the stress.

This sounds like they are not communicating very well, and I am not sure that your getting into the mix is a good idea. If he does spend all your money and the situation is not fixed, then you are going to be VERY ANGRY. Taking into account that he all ready has been down this road once, I would not do this.

The two of them need to get on the same page and get this straightened. If it takes financial counseling, so be it. If it is bankruptcy, so be it. Lots of people have been on the brink and gotten them selves solvent. But they don't need counseling to do this, they can simply look at their spending habits, learn to differentiate wants from needs, and budget, budget, budget. Not an easy road to take but it can be done.

The other thing that bothers me is that your sister just told you about this. Meaning that she didn't know or couldn't deal with it.

This is one I would really stay away from. If they want your help, then help with Fool and articles.

As to them sending your budgets and things like that, I wouldn't do that either. They are married, they are in this together. You are not.

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