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Personal Finances / Living Below Your Means


Subject:  Re: Everyone has money - until someone needs it. Date:  6/3/2001  7:37 PM
Author:  uwalum Number:  150535 of 908844

My very close friend's Grandmother lived with her son for years. I mean, it must have been decades. He owned a duplex and his parents were next door. Then he bought a beautiful home and had an apartment built for his Mom. He lost his job and eventually he was in a real financial bind and had to make changes. He got foreign students and needed to rent out his Mom's apartment to make the payments. He contacted all 9 of his siblings and all the adult grandchildren (there must have been 20+) requested that each one send $25 a month to help support their mother/grandmother. I think that 10 people send the money for a couple of months and it wasn't enough. Apartment rented and Grandmother began to go between 2 or 3 of her children. Everyone was willing to have him take care of everything.

I have also watched my in-laws provide outpatient care for the youngest and only daughter. Their adult child never had to worry about health insurance, paying for college, buying or paying for the upkeep on her car, or coughing up the money to buy her own airline tickets to visit. No one else in the family has received financial assistance. We also don't want any assistance, thank you very much.

My half-sister will not help with our mother at all. When she was sick, I took care of her although I asked for help. I know that I am on my own.

We are not a financial institution. We don't loan money. I will bring you a cooked dinner regularly if you are having troubles. I will go shopping and bring you groceries. You can stay with us. I will run your errands and tend to your children. I will help clean up your house. I would send the $25 a month to help pay for my grandmother (if it were my grandmother). Every decision is based on my head. Have these folks been blowing money and don't want to make changes? What have they done to take care of the problem? That helps me to know what is the right thing to do for me. Everyone's different.

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