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Subject:  Re: How do things get so out of control? Date:  6/11/2001  11:13 PM
Author:  tanaquil Number:  75725 of 312858

I feel stuck! Can't sell the house, can't keep up with the house. I am sure I'm giving myself ulsers! I'm very stressed not knowing if we should keep up the effort for the next 2 1/2 years, when we would be able to refinance, or file BK and move to a rental and start all over again. I feel like I am getting too old to start all over again...(40)

I am so sorry, it sounds like you're really in a tough spot. (Don't worry so much about your kids though, it is too bad that your 4 year old can't play on the street but the wonderful thing about little kids is that they don't miss what they don't have! Not like us grown-ups!)

Have you run the numbers on just what selling the house would mean? If its value has appreciated as much as your husband thinks, maybe you could at least break even on the closing/selling costs. If the house is making you miserable AND draining your budget every single month, it might be worth a cash loss (if you can swing it) to get out & into a smaller house. If not today, then maybe in 6 mos to a year.

Don't beat yourself up. I think people have only sounded kind of tough on this thread because many thought you were looking at buying a too expensive house rather than already suffering the consequences of buying one. We all know what it's like to have to live with the consquences of bad decisions, it's why most of us are here!!

When one person is drowning in a pond, for some reason it is hard for that person to grasp that someone else can be drowning in an ocean. :-) Your grocery/gas/entertainment allotment is a whole biweekly paycheck for me, but that's really irrelevant. Lots of people live on less than half of what I make and I can't imagine cutting my expenses back that far without compromising my standard of living past what I can stand -- it is all in what you're used to. Like dieting, it's hard to eat less no matter what you weigh to start with.

Never mind yesterday's choices. Start examining every single choice you make today, every single day, & ask whether what you get out of each choice is worth what you paid for it. (The book Your Money or Your Life is wonderful on this subject -- check it out.)

Hang on & keep posting as many details as you can bear. We will try to help & not scold about the utility bill. (But what DO you manage to spend $581 on?? Enquiring minds want to know!)

Welcome to the Fool & keep your eyes on the "future" part of your handle!!


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