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Subject:  The Legacy of the Jethro Bowl Date:  7/17/2001  2:43 PM
Author:  CrazyLegsPat Number:  1427 of 2401

Last Saturday my kitchen was the site of a cataclysmic event. I dropped and smashed my Jethro Bowl. This bowl was a little smaller than Jethro's cereal bowl, but was huge by any other standards. Since the age of about 12 I had ingested more cereal out of this single bowl than perhaps anyone else on the planet, but no more.

I lifted the bowl out of the dish rack and it slipped out of my hand and smashed into what seemed like a million pieces. I stood there barefoot and wondered how I would get out of the kitchen as I was literally surrouned by shards. I grabbed a towel and dropped it on the floor and stood on it and shimmied my way out of the kitchen. Time to vacuum. (No, I don't have a dust-pan and brush or any kind of broom, so the vacuum it was)

My vacuum cleaner has a beater bar with no other attachments. Do you know what happens when you try to vacuum broken ceramic shards with a beater bar? Well, lemme tell ya. The million pieces break up into many more millions of pieces as they are chopped down to a size where they can fit up the shoot, so you have to go over and over and over again, watching the bigger pieces shoot all over the floor and smashing into tinier and tinier pieces until they are small enough to vacuum up. Also, the noise is deafening! But during this process something insidious and almost invisible is taking place, something I didn't notice until I was done. The beater bar, while smashing the pieces into tiny bits, was also smashing some of those pieces RIGHT INTO THE LINOLEUM! Upon closer examination with a magnifying glass, there are now literally hundreds of tiny shards imbedded in my kitchen floor with no way of removing them.

Dear Jethro Bowl,

After a loving, nearly 30 year relationship you have left me with nothing more than the need for a new kitchen floor. And this whole time I had no idea you were female.


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