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Subject:  Steven Wright quotes Date:  8/7/2001  4:34 PM
Author:  SirTas Number:  7917 of 190548

from LudditeAndroid on the REHP

If you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Support bacteria-- they're the only culture some people have.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
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