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Subject:  I am the world's biggest moron (long) Date:  3/15/2003  7:37 PM
Author:  snie Number:  7964 of 21260

In the past 2 days, I have failed miserably in the kitchen! I never claim to be a gourmet chef, but this is NOT like me. My creations usually come out edible, if not downright tasty. Both of my failed recipes were Quick Breads from the Joy of Cooking.

My first recipe was for "Quick Carrot-Nut Bread" from the Joy of Cooking.

Now, I measured everything carefully except the salt, and I probably put in about 3/4tsp salt. However, this was so salty and so bitter it was inedible. I added another 1/2c of sugar in an attempt to rescue the batch (still didn't taste much better). I baked it anyways, figuring it couldn't hurt, and carrots sometimes get sweeter when they cook. No dice, this was hands down the worst thing to ever come out of my kitchen. It was inedible.

I then proceeded to do the meanest thing I have ever done. After knowing the carrot-nut bread was inedible, I said 'here, try this' and gave a bite to my boyfriend. Don't ask me why I did this, I knew it was bad before I gave it to him. Needless to say, I got in alot of trouble!

The entire thing went into the garbage.

Earlier today, I figured I would redeem myself by making Cinnamon buns and Banana bread. I figured I would learn my lesson, and measure carefully. I've made bread dough quite a few times, so I was confident that I could do this okay. I made the bread dough, needed it out, then covered the bowl with a kitchen towel and set it aside to raise.

On to the banana bread. Once again, measuring carefully, measuring twice. Being very careful. Mix up the dough, and once again it is so salty you can't bear it. I figure that it isn't as bad as the carrot bread was, so I will try to redeem the recipe, by once again adding sugar. I added about 1/2 a c. of white sugar and 1/2c of brown sugar. The batter tasted a bit better, but still not very sweet.

I've never baked the Quick Bread recipes from the Joy of Cooking, so I figured that maybe they just weren't supposed to be sweet. I put the banana bread dough in the pan, and set it aside while the oven pre-heated. I came into the computer room to write a big whiny rant here about how the Joy of Cooking has lousy recipes. As I was typing, my BF phoned, and I complained to him about the really-salty quick bread. He asked me, "are you sure you're using sugar and not salt?" And I said, "of course, why would I use salt? that's stupid" Salt is kept in the little pourable box, and sugar is kept in a big cannister.

After I got off the phone, I went into the kitchen to taste the contents of the cannister, just to be sure of myself. The contents tasted salty. It wasn't straight salt, it was sweet, too, but there was definately salt in the sugar canister.

Then I remembered.....

Earlier this week, I was on a cleaning spree, and I figured I would 'consolidate' some of the containers in my pantry. There was a ziploc bag with about 1 1/2c. of white powder in it, which I automatically assumed to be sugar. Full of good intentions, I dumped the contents of that bag into the sugar cannister without tasting it.

I am such a moron. Most of the salt wound up in the carrot bread. The banana bread wasn't as bad, as I probably got less salt and more sugar in the mix. When I took the towel off the bread dough, sure enough it hasn't risen, as I tried to feed the yeast with salt instead of sugar. Into the garbage. The banana bread was washed down the drain without baking. The entire contents of the sugar cannister (about 6 cups) went into the garbage as well.

I'll try to redeem myself later this week. But right now, I think I am going to cry.


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