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Subject:  Re: on single parents Date:  9/13/2006  1:49 PM
Author:  ishtarastarte Number:  673 of 681

Me, too! ;-) How do you handle the "dad questions"? The Monkey is only seven months old but eventually he's going to ask and I don't see his father coming to his senses any time soon.

Well, she's only seen him once, when she was 4, and doesn't remember it (she's almost 11 now.)

She sometimes asks, but not really the big ones. I don't get "why don't I have a daddy?" or anything, and she's pretty matter-of-fact telling others that she doesn't have one.

She knows: he lived in Las Vegas last I heard from him, that he and I did not want to get married (mostly me) but that I wanted her more than anything, she gets some of her artistic talent from him (he draws anime style and plays keyboards and drums; she draws - some anime, a lot of design-her-own-clothes and people - and sings/acts and is teaching herself guitar) She knows his ethnic background (different from mine) so if she wants to explore that. She's got a picture of him, knows she kind of looks like him.

Like I said, I'm lucky. She doesn't seem to see it as a big negative, and I've never treated it as such.

If/when she does ask, I always address that specific question as honestly as I can without trying to beat him up. Which sometimes means a big, "I really don't know, honey."

I have a friend who is considering donor sperm to have a baby. She's really planning every detail and keep freaking out, "what if I can't handle this? What if I'm not ready?!" I keep telling her that NO ONE is ever ready.

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