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URL:  https://boards.fool.com/my-wife-is-not-a-fan-of-my-poker-playing-either-i-30375141.aspx

Subject:  Re: Looking for opinions Date:  11/11/2012  12:46 PM
Author:  R0TJob Number:  34650 of 40204

My wife is not a fan of my poker playing either. I play at the casinos and, before we met, I would come home from work and sleep then, get up around midnight, and head to the casino to pick off the drunks. I made some really good money doing this, but I realized that being in a relationship would require this method to change.

What I was not willing to compromise on was playing poker itself. It is a game I adore. When I hear the saying "do what you love and never work another day in your life," poker is really the only thing that immediately comes to mind for me.

At first I cut way back. I went from playing 2-3 times a week to once a week, during normal evening hours, always home at a reasonable time of 11 or midnight. Then I went to twice a month and still it was an issue. Eventually I stopped going altogether, because it wasn't worth the attitude I would get over it.

I understood her feelings perfectly. We were in a new relationship and she wanted to spend all her time with me, and she saw this as me taking time away from that.

However, after about a year, I was not happy. I had completely given up something that brought me a lot of joy and interaction with diverse people. Also, we had progressed in our relationship past the honeymoon phase, so she was not as needy with regards to time with me.

I talked it over with her and told her that I really missed poker and even offered to teach her so we could go together. We did this once and she did very well, but never played again. I kept playing. At first it was mostly in Vegas, but now I play about once a month at home too. It has worked out well, but I always try to be respectful of her feelings too.

Also, she has learned that it is ok to go out with the girls without me and have fun drinking and singing karaoke, which I do not particularly enjoy.

I agree that this really isn't about poker. Maybe, if the Friday game is something you are really attached to, you could knock off a couple hours early on Friday, or set an alarm and forgo some sleep on saturday to ease the situation. I think compromise is the key here.

If her issue is just that she wasn't raised to stay out until 3am, well, I wasn't either. I was a child and now I am a grown ass man. I do try to respect my wife's feelings though, within reason.
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