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Subject:  Shyness or more? Date:  1/11/2013  10:31 AM
Author:  pachouly Number:  42038 of 42475

It's been a while; life is crazy, but looking for some advice.. may actually have another thread shortly.

3.5 year old son has been home with a nanny since our girls were born in 2011. Prior to that, he was in daycare full-time. In September, he started preschool 3 days a week for 3 hours each day.

My concern is around his speaking and it has become more so since he started school. He never speaks in class. He doesn't play with the others kids; he 'plays on the side'. He knows all the words to every song -- he teaches them to me and his sisters. He loves school; he crafts, is excited to go, brings things from home to show his teachers but doesn't speak.

If this were pure shyness, I don't think he'd interact at all and that's not the case; he just won't speak and that is starting to limit him in different situations. Today, his teacher was gently trying to get him to speak with choice questions like: "Would you like the blue or red crayon"; he only gestures or points to respond.

He's verbal at home; his speech is measured and careful but except when he's very upset he can communicate clearly (when he's upset he can't talk). Outside our immediate family and nanny, he is still reserved, but will say a few words to people we are close to. With anyone else he will smile and gesture/nod/bring books/show toys, but won't speak. We do some practice talking for different situations, but other than home situations (communicating verbally when upset), it hasn't appeared to make a difference.

Those of you who 'know' me know that myself and my husband are pretty quiet and introverted; we don't socialize a lot, so he probably hasn't had opportunity outside our nanny to observe us (our nanny talks non-stop and is a social butterfly).

I will be meeting with his lead teacher this month to see what she thinks; we've only had a few minutes here and there to chat on this at drop-off/pick-up.

I was curious if anyone had input/thoughts on next steps. I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill and I'm certainly not looking to change who he is, but if there's anything I can be doing to help him handle these situations, would like to do so.
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