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Subject:  Re: May update Date:  5/25/2020  11:59 PM
Author:  ThyPeace Number:  312853 of 312987

When you have time, will you divulge? I'm always looking for ways to better our situation.<\i>

Financially, I would say you are heading toward solid ground. You just need to keep going. When you get there, if you continue to be financially prudent, you will build your net worth substantially and eventually end up with a nice nest egg.

Similar bootstrap approaches apply in other areas of life. It reminds me because my financial problems were part of a larger problem. For me, my financial problems came from an ugly breakup, one that still costs me in both financial and emotional pain 17 years later.* Getting myself financially fit was only one piece of rebuilding from the ashes.

I built an ethical framework reading things like _Ethics for a New Millennium_. I learned all that I could absorb about healthy relationships (David Schnarch’s _Passionate Marriage and Steven Stosny’s work on compassion were most useful to me). I tried a dozen times to lose the weight I’d gained, and finally had to learn that my weight is directly controllable by controlling the stress in my life first and then making incremental sustainable changes in eating habits (very similar to debt payoff, except that I could pay off my debts when buried in stress and could not lose weight in that situation).

I’ve finally re-learned exercise and fitness. I’ve even gotten to the point where I can take classes to better myself. All part of a constant effort to improve.

So when I think of where you are on your journey, I see all the things that can grow out of constant, steady effort to better oneself. But it’s one thing at a time —- this year has been a lesson in what happens when I take too much on. A significant amount of it doesn’t happen, and that has been a frustration. In this, the quarantine has been a benefit to me, because I have more time to focus and somewhat less to focus on. Quality improves that way. So I don’t want you to lose focus on your most immediate issue. Take care of that, then focus on the next thing on the pile.

ThyPeace, incrementalist most of the time.

*This may sound as if it’s all someone else’s fault. It’s not. I take full responsibility for the destruction. Though the ending was probably inevitable, if I had been wiser, calmer, and more compassionate, then ensuing damage would have been reduced.

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