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Subject: Walking in the shoes	Date: 3/24/2021 7:21 PM
Author: rainphakir	Number: 138230 of 139643
I just spent 2 weeks with some older folks who needed a 'gopher'. Both are late 80's, the wife with dementia. He's her full time care-giver, with a 10 to 12 hour per week helper to see to her hygiene needs and some light cleaning, cooking, etc. He had a recent fall, and needed a 24/7 gopher for the short term, to shoulder some of the load. I decided I could be a gopher. The experience was poignant, sad, funny, ...depressing. I've known them a LONG time. Communication was tough. Often she would start a comment... forget the next words or thought, and give up. I could see the frustration. Both for her and for him. It was possible to hold short conversations with her, in which she seemed to grasp the concepts, which was rewarding. I could joke with her, and she'd joke back, using appropriate wording. I saw her sing along with old time gospel songs. I got to listen to his 'stories', also about my ancestors' lives in the 1940s 50s 60s... so I found them interesting. I got to help some valued friends. He's closer to being back to self-sufficiency. The two weeks were well spent. 8^) ralph
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