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Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffee pot with water to prepare
his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-
hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his
first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His
medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal
fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for
paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning
breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some
girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is
properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total
contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know
what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe
dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes
is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws
to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway
station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him
considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some
fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation,
which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his eight hour work day, another benefit garnered from
those commie liberal unions. He has a good job with excellent pay,
medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some
lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working
standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer
doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker
compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't
think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous
bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-
market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that
Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and
earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at
his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His
car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating
liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live
in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity
until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't
belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives
on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved
Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe
enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our
lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should
take care of themselves, just like I have"

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