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From the Book of Confections – Chapter 3, verses 1-42.

And behold the mother did say unto her family, speaking to each in turn. “The food doth run low in the house, and I have foretold, by looking at the calendar, that tomorrow will be most busy and there will be little time for the making of food. Therefor, I shall travel away from here and journey to the store where I will acquire food so that we may not be hungry in the coming days.”

And the children did hear her, and their stomachs were moved, and they did ask for the cheddar crackers, both those that are square and also those that are shaped like fish. But as their ages were between one dozen and one score, they were like unto the locusts devouring all in their sight. So also they asked for cookies and the kool-aid and the makings of sandwiches and pretzels both plain and yogurt covered and finally they did ask for flour tortillas. For in the house were only corn tortillas and the children did find those loathsome.

And the mother did brow-beat them about the lack of fruits and vegetables and did expound on her desire to see them grow strong and fit. And the children relented and agreed that apples would be consumed if any were to be found.

The mother did then turn to the father and he did ponder, and he did ask for plums. But also he asked for the Halloween Oreos, for they are Oreos but with orange filling and thus special.

And so the wife did leave, but so complicated were the demands of her children that she was driven to visit three different stores in order that they could all be satisfied. And when this caused her to be absent for a prolonged time, her children became hungry and anxious. And they did pester their father, unceasingly asking of him when the mother should return with the food. Such bother did they cause him, it was unknowable which among them was most relieved when the mother did return.

And the father and children did help her unload and put away they groceries, for they knew that this was the best way to discover what she had gathered for the home. And there was much planning and scheming and claims to ownership over various foods.

And the father did see that the Oreos where not of the Halloween type, but rather of the carrot cake type and he was dismayed. But wisdom was in his heart, and he did not express his dismay, for surely the woman who was been shopping for the last two and a half hours does not want to hear it. And lo his wisdom was rewarded for there was a second bag of Oreos, and it was of the Halloween type.

And so mollified he deigned to try the carrot cake Oreos and found that they were good, and then he did heap praise open his wife for her choices and decisions. But lo, fear was upon his heart, for his younger child did also try the cookies and find them good and a prophecy did come to him that the carrot cake Oreos would not last long, nay not even to the end of the week.

Wally
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