From the Book of Confections – Chapter 3, verses 1-42.And behold the mother did say unto her family, speaking to each in turn. “The food doth run low in the house, and I have foretold, by looking at the calendar, that tomorrow will be most busy and there will be little time for the making of food. Therefor, I shall travel away from here and journey to the store where I will acquire food so that we may not be hungry in the coming days.”And the children did hear her, and their stomachs were moved, and they did ask for the cheddar crackers, both those that are square and also those that are shaped like fish. But as their ages were between one dozen and one score, they were like unto the locusts devouring all in their sight. So also they asked for cookies and the kool-aid and the makings of sandwiches and pretzels both plain and yogurt covered and finally they did ask for flour tortillas. For in the house were only corn tortillas and the children did find those loathsome.And the mother did brow-beat them about the lack of fruits and vegetables and did expound on her desire to see them grow strong and fit. And the children relented and agreed that apples would be consumed if any were to be found.The mother did then turn to the father and he did ponder, and he did ask for plums. But also he asked for the Halloween Oreos, for they are Oreos but with orange filling and thus special. And so the wife did leave, but so complicated were the demands of her children that she was driven to visit three different stores in order that they could all be satisfied. And when this caused her to be absent for a prolonged time, her children became hungry and anxious. And they did pester their father, unceasingly asking of him when the mother should return with the food. Such bother did they cause him, it was unknowable which among them was most relieved when the mother did return.And the father and children did help her unload and put away they groceries, for they knew that this was the best way to discover what she had gathered for the home. And there was much planning and scheming and claims to ownership over various foods.And the father did see that the Oreos where not of the Halloween type, but rather of the carrot cake type and he was dismayed. But wisdom was in his heart, and he did not express his dismay, for surely the woman who was been shopping for the last two and a half hours does not want to hear it. And lo his wisdom was rewarded for there was a second bag of Oreos, and it was of the Halloween type.And so mollified he deigned to try the carrot cake Oreos and found that they were good, and then he did heap praise open his wife for her choices and decisions. But lo, fear was upon his heart, for his younger child did also try the cookies and find them good and a prophecy did come to him that the carrot cake Oreos would not last long, nay not even to the end of the week.Wally
But lo, fear was upon his heart, for his younger child did also try the cookies and find them good and a prophecy did come to him that the carrot cake Oreos would not last long, nay not even to the end of the week.And in what household with two growing boys and a full-sized adult male would a package of even regular boring Oreos last for a week? Or even much beyond two days?
And in what household with two growing boys and a full-sized adult male would a package of even regular boring Oreos last for a week? Or even much beyond two days? My wife made that point that they would not last a week with just me.Wally
This Book of Confections contains great wisdom. I shall have to study it further.In the mean time, please pass the Double Stuf Oreos so that the stirring in my belly shall be quieted, lest it disturb my studies.--Peter
And there was a great and widening debate over the merits of Oreo Double Stuf versus Oreo Thins. The debate grew to such proportions that there was a schism in the realm, with weapons drawn and light sabres called to the ready.And then the Trader Joe’s and the Astounding Multi-Flavor Joe-Joe’s (aka the Holiday dipped Joe-Joes) came out, and the Double Stuff lay down with the Thins and there was much rejoicing.ThyPeace, until the box was gone and there sprang up the argument over who had the last ginger Joe-Joe, and everyone had to go back to the store for four more boxes of the things.
We are currently Oreo-less, as thanks to the proselytizing of some kind flight attendants, we are adherents to the divergent sect of the Stroopwafel.(you can call it heresy, but my daughter will take the eight we have in the house and stand against your mainstream confection beliefs. Well, maybe she'll indulge* a bit, after she's finished her eating...er, reading)-synchronicity*-see what I did there?
2 Conf. 4:1-71 But then from the South came forth a Lawyer, who dwelt in the land of Miami among the mosquitoes and Alligators and his own two small children. 2 This is what the Lawyer said: "Purchase not the Oreo at the market, for it is known to the children to be Good. 3 Do not eat of it, lest your children gnash their teeth and whine and ask unto you who hath eaten the last Oreo." 4 The Lawyer brought forth from within his garments the Milano, and raised it aloft, and said: 5 "This is the Milano which our Father has given us, which He gave to our parents before us. 6 And the Milano is good, but not known to the children, and is more easily concealed in the back of the pantry with the dry pasta." 7 And Mallomars too.Albaby
8 Woe unto thee who purchaseth thine Halloween candy before Simchat Torah, for they shalt be bitten by the serpent of Temptation, and reviled.
8 Woe unto thee who purchaseth thine Halloween candy before Simchat Torah, for they shalt be bitten by the serpent of Temptation, and reviled.I once posted on another board -Why do the stores put out Halloween candy in early October? Don't they know I'll just eat and have to come back and buy more?Wally
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