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Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
Why is this the BUICK of sports cars? What's the similarity?

The "Buick-ness" refers to how plain and non-assuming the car is. The Integra (when the joke was made, they were talking about the first generation), was more like a generic sporty car. Sporty, yes, but exciting or having an identity? No.

Acura Legend: I'm too bland for German cars.
I thought that's what the Honda Accord is for. I thought the Legend is supposed to be a premium luxury performance car, not a regular car.

The original Legend (again, back when this joke was popular) was almost the same car as the Honda Accord, which, is fairly "bland". It was a luxury mid-size car, not a luxury performance car.

Mercedes 560SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
Huh? I don't know anyone named Bitsy or Cole.

Refers to rich, over-affluent families living in areas, a la Winnetka, Bloomfield Hills, Grosse Pointe. The other modification to this joke is having the kids' names changed to Muffy and Skip.

Plymouth Neon: I wish they'd bring back the Macarena.
Huh? I think a better tagline is, "Consumer Reports is for the birds."

This one is a new addition to the original list. But it refers to the original Neon which actually WAS a best-selling car for DCX and the demographic was young, single women, but those that new nothing about cars. (Especially if they bought the Purple or the day-glo Green Neons)


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