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Also: does anyone have any thought on how to explain marriage to two kids that have been present for the implosion of their parents'?

I just don't even know where to start on that one.


Oy. I can see why. Um.

Dude, I got nothing.

The thing is, if you start saying stuff they don't have to worry about, and it was stuff they weren't worried about anyway, then it puts the idea into their heads that it may be worrisome. Like, "Momma will never stop loving you," might make a kid think, "People can stop loving other people? Crap!"

I think, you know, you say it in response to them asking what you did in Vegas, like, "Oh, I walked around and saw these weird buildings, and also T and I got married." I mean, y'all have been living together, so it's not like they have to adjust to having him around, or they're going to worry that suddenly you're going to love them less. They might be scared that you and he might implode, now that you're married, or it might not occur to them. And then I guess I'd just follow their lead.

The hard thing is, you don't want to say marriage is not a big deal, just that the specific ceremony that takes you from not married in the eyes of the law to married (i.e., the wedding) is not a big deal. I mean, it can be for some people (NTTAWWT), and other people do it more casually (JP's office, drive through chapel, etc), but at the end of the day, however you do it, you are just as married. And the important part is the marriage, which you and T basically already have. The wedding is one day, the marriage, hopefully, the rest of your life.

You're dotting your legal i's and crossing the formal t's, that's all. Like getting your driver's license rather than your permit. Maybe compare it to a birthday party, some people want an Ariel cake and the full-on Little Mermaid, and other people just want to maybe have dinner with the family and not get any presents, but at the end of the day, all those people are "officially" a year older (even though they're really only a day older).

Argh, I don't know. (Note how that didn't lead to me shutting my pie hole. :-)) Whatever you do, it'll be okay. You and T are there every day, being twelve kinds of awesome. That's the most important part.


--Booa
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