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Saw pdoc today. He told me that he thinks I should quit school and forget about ever working again. Great doc, so for the next 50 years I contemplate my navel? Besides, it will take a year or so for social security and/or VA to review my case and actually get money. What do I live on until then? Where do I live?

He wanted me to look into the veteran's home. Uh, doc, they don't take dependents. Oh? You have dependents? My 10 year old daughter, yeah. Oh, is there anybody she can stay with? No. Oh. Have you gone to social services. We just discussed that I applied for welfare and was turned down.

So, I give up all hope of being a constructive, active human being AND send my kid to someone else? Damn, I may as well just die!

I'm really pissed off, but crying, too. Right now I'm not handling school well, and I don't think I'd do well working full time RIGHT NOW, but it's only RIGHT NOW. It won't be forever. Will it?

Ishtar
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Hang on, Ish. I can't offer much except that I'm here, and you're in my thoughts.

CG
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I'm really pissed off, but crying, too. Right now I'm not handling school well, and I don't think I'd do well working full time RIGHT NOW, but it's only RIGHT NOW. It won't be forever. Will it?


No, it won't be forever.

(((Ish)))

FWIW, although I have been concerned with the idea of your becoming a full time teacher, I thought the subbing and part time ideas were very doable for you. That's not to say that you shouldn't ever be a full time teacher, but just that it might take a couple of years for you to ease into it. I wish there was a way for you to go to school part time while getting the help (financial and medical) you need, because that sounds like it's what would work best for you.

I think you have a lot of different stresses adding up to make things more difficult for you. Money, school, doing a good job raising your daughter*, your family's issues, taking care of yourself, the cats, etc. As time goes on, some of the issues will get eaiser to deal with. A few years from now, your daughter will be a teenager and although there will be a bunch of stresses associated with that :), you won't have childcare issues to deal with that limit what hours you can work. (((Ish))) Just remember that things will not always be as they are now. It may not feel like it, but you are making progress.







*just pointing out that this is something you probably stress over. I'm NOT trying to say there's anything wrong with your parenting skills . :)
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FWIW, although I have been concerned with the idea of your becoming a full time teacher, I thought the subbing and part time ideas were very doable for you.

That's the page I thought therapist and I were on until last appt.


That's not to say that you shouldn't ever be a full time teacher, but just that it might take a couple of years for you to ease into it.


*nod* I agree. But from the way pdoc was sounding, if I get the full disability from the VA, they won't want me to work again. I thought they could just reduce it as my income increased, but I guess not.


I wish there was a way for you to go to school part time while getting the help (financial and medical) you need,


*sigh* me, too.

Ishtar
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(((Ish)))

While I don't 'know' you, I often wish that I did. LOL We could be great next door neighbors or something. Anyway, I think that you are an incredibly strong person. If you don't think you'd do well working full time RIGHT NOW, you're probably right. (For the most part you also seem to be *very* in tune with yourself.)

But I don't see anything from what I know of you to suggest that you are a hopeless case destined to never work again.

Honestly, I don't think I'm handling school all that great at this moment either. But I will NOT give up. (I may drop my History class, but that's another story.) I don't think that you will give up, either. I don't know how it would work financially, but could you just reduce your class load next semester instead of taking off entirely? Or take the semester off and find a lower-stress job?

I just have no idea how things could work logistically, but I DO think that you can do it. (Whatever *it* is that you want.) You may not be able to do it as quickly as someone else. You may need to take a break. You may even change your mind about the *it* that you want.

Your docs know you better than I do, of course, but I think they are underestimating you. I just don't think you'll be happy sitting around doing nothing for the rest of your life. As hard as it may be to push yourself through some of this, in the long run I truely believe that you will be able to handle this stress (whether it's working, going to school, whatever) better than you'll be able to handle FOREVER on a fixed income with no real way to better yourself.

Rebecca
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I think he's underestimating you.
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In my objective, impartial, and well-reasoned opinion:

Your pdoc is a moron, slimebag, and has no business at any level telling you what he did.

Sweetie, I'm sorry he made you cry. You deserve a better pdoc than that jerk. I have the less than altruistic urge to grab him by his zygote-producing glands and find out how much crying he could do, himself.

As others have said, it's not forever. A lot of fertilizer is unfortunately hitting your emotional fan right now. Things will get better I know, though I wish I could assure you when and how.

**** big hugs to you ****
Meg
P.S. I hope he sucks on a salted, moldy codfish with too little water, nor antidiarrheals anywhere near him for at least three days.
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In the pdoc's defense, he might be trying to paint the worst possible picture. (expect the worst, if you get better you're thrilled)

But, perhaps it could have been tempered a bit better.

{{{{{{{Ish}}}}}}

It will work out, somehow...

If you're getting aid/assistance/loans that offset the tuition, I'd stay in school, but maybe cut back to whatever the lowest point was that didn't start affecting the aid/assistance/loans to lessen the stress.

Balancing it will be tough, but YOU CAN DO IT!

- Lan
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Ishtar,

I think the pdoc is FOS, too, and what he told you seems deliberately non-constructive. Is there are way to get a new pdoc, or are you stuck with this one?

It sounds to me like you really would benefit from getting a part-time job, because it would put some additional structure into your days and provide some much-needed income. You've indicated that you think you do better under those conditions. I think cutting back to part time in school, at least for the time being, would give you the time you need to concentrate on work, taking care of Chandra, and otherwise getting your world in order.

Sometimes life really sucks, and you've obviously hit one of those rough patches. Don't give up on yourself and belief that it can be better, though! You deserve it, and you CAN make it happen!

Cori
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As usual, I'm late to the gathering,
but the pdoc Ish is dealing with is a *VA* employee attuned to dealing with *veterans* in other words he is a *government employee*! They are not nece going to be as efficient *and certainly not as o+ friendly-- as
other pdocs in other venues.
I say this as a state employee, who would not want to be one of our clients seeing the medical system they do.

jts
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