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And the last time I saw my therapist he felt like I'm doing really well and he graduated me to monthly visits instead of biweekly. I actually agree that monthly is fine. I don't know about how 'really well' I'm doing. Like I said, I feel GREAT! For now.

I appreciate what you said here so much!!! It seems like you feel great, your husband seems to think you're doing well, you're doing stuff with your kids, and your therapist thinks you've improved, yet you're scared it's only temporary. I hate that feeling that the depression could come back at any second. For awhile I was hiding in my apartment so I wouldn't get depressed while I was away from home and do something I'd regret (like spend money, drive off a bridge, eat a gallon of ben & jerry's -- whatever, it's all the same when I'm depressed).

I finally got to the point a month or so ago when I was so sick of feeling this way I decided to not get bent out of shape if I have a bad day. Not a bad day like things aren't going my way, but a bad day mentally/emotionally. I can't expect to be feeling GREAT all the time. It's not realistic. People who don't have problems with depression don't feel great all the time. Life has it's ups and downs. Even when I was doing okay, I thought every small down was going to send me into a whirlwind of depression!!! I have found that I do better when I'm busy. I have also found that I need more time to myself than I ever thought. It makes sense, I'm an introverted person and introverted people get their energy from being alone. But I always discounted my instinct, and chose to be around other people all the time until I was exhausted!

It might be okay to relax a little. A small bump in the road does not have to mean a downward spiral. If you have an off day, chalk it up to having an off day and let it go. It's okay to have off days. (I feel like I should add the disclaimer that you should also keep the communication lines open, whomever you go to - you're therapist, your husband, whomever - so that if it does become more serious you can tell someone without hesitating.) The point is to find a balance between monitoring your feelings and living a life with a semblance of normalcy.

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