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No. of Recommendations: 4

I do believe you and your wife are real.

I am at a loss about what to recommend to you. You and your wife have lots of communication issues. The refusal to work out a plan to which you both agree would be a deal breaker for me.

I'm not saying I would divorce her. But she seems to have decided that she is going to pursue her cleaning business without any input or discussion from you. I'm not saying your reservations should control her choices. But her choices rely on your continued participation by contributing a regular paycheck.

If I were you, I would let her know that my participation in this scheme relies on us reaching an agreement about it. I would be willing to set up a separate bank account, stop paying credit cards, and buy food myself in order to force an agreement.

Just like I would never accept a job in a different state or make a decision effecting the marriage without consulting her, I would expect her to work with me on this arrangement. Of course since this is her energy and effort, I wouldn't veto anything or direct her to take a particular action. I just wouldn't be willing to have her make such important decisions on her own as if I didn't exist.

Of course the problem is that at this point you don't have any credibility in your relationship. You have shown bad judgment in your spending, in trashing your wife in a public forum where she can read it, and then posting personally identifiable information linking your family to your posts. Just like your debt has a history which can't be fixed in a day, your marriage has a similar history that needs to be overcome through hard work and incremental changes.

Angry Geek
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