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After the 2005 season, I posted a BMB retrospective, which took a look back on all of the garbage that 77 diehards liked to call their “preseason predictions”. No one carried the torch last year, letting all of our stupid preseason prognostications go unflamed. Well that’s not happening again. Armed with nothing to do at work, I took a look back at 2007’s BMB predictions. No stupid prediction was too small to be mocked, no poster likeable enough to be spared.

A few notes before the actual predictions:

1) I’m working from 3 threads here:

Early BMB predictions: http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=25329026&bid=&sort=whole
Normal BMB predictions: http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=25762555&sort=whole
Late BMB predictions: http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=25883471&sort=whole

I’m posting my commentary in order of the threads, so if you made separate predictions, they will not be consolidated. Sorry about that.

2) You may think that people who posted predictions in March should be given a bit more leeway than those posted right before the season. Well you’d be wrong. If anything, March prognosticators should get flamed more for being so stupid as to post NFL predictions in March.

3) I’m way too lazy to look stuff up, so if you made a specific statistical prediction, I ballparked your correctness based on what I could remember. If I’m wrong, screw you. You can do this next time and get all high and mighty about looking up stats.

Anyways, with further Apu (I Have been zinged, and I have enjoyed it!), I give you the 2007 NFL season BMB retrospective:

Sunrunner4

I say that Matt Schaub will finish with no better than a 75 passer rating AND will finish as one of the bottom 10 starters AND will finish in the top 5 for sacks.

I don’t know whether this prediction was right or not, but you are automatically disqualified for picking a Texans quarterback to finish high in sacks in a BMB predictions thread. Perhaps next year you could post this in the “really obvious predictions” thread.

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psu

Peyton will announce that he's gay and Dungy will cut him cause he's anti-homosexual.

Credit for being BMB, but not sure where else to go with this. In the interest of not starting a religious debate, I will move on to your next prediction…

The Ravens will have no interest in the cut Manning cause Boller is the future.

For my response to this prediction, see this post: http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=26348172

So basically you made one ridiculously stupid prediction that has no basis in fact and was really just an attempt to be funny (I hope), and then you also predicted that Peyton manning would come out of the closet. No BMB points for you.

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goaltender95

The Pats will win another Superbowl after going 14-2 during the regular season

So close, yet so far. Can I get you a hankie?

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CarlHungus

The Colts miss the playoffs

If I wanted to weasel out of making fun of myself, I would say that I should get some BMB points because The Colts made a mockery of their Superbowl defense by losing to a hobbled Chargers team in their first playoff game. So yes, I will say that.

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dianagram

ESPN will cut out those stupid celebrity interviews during the middle of the MNF game.

The one prediction that probably everyone was rooting for. Alas, it was probably also the least likely to happen. Oh well. BMB points for wishful thinking.

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averagjoe

The Cowboys take the NFC East and make it to the Conference Championship game.

Again, so close, yet so far. I think goaltender95 will let you share his hankie if you ask nicely.

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Naj

Pacman Jones does not get arrested, indicted, or serve any time in the next 12 months. Now that's BMB.

How dare you insult the Rainmaker like that?! Make that prediction again next season and he’ll suplex you off the top rope.

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77

1. Tony Kornheiser will join Joe Theisman as a former "MNF" Alum.

Wrong

2. "Pacman" Jones will be packing his bags (via cut or suspention).

I don’t think predicting that a player, who made it rain in a strip club and then had one of his posse shoot some guy, will get suspended or cut is a BMB prediction.

Seriously, you people need to look up the term BMB on teh internets.

3. Chris Henry won't get in trouble before the season.

I have no idea if this is right or not, but I don’t remember hearing anything about him so I will assume it was. Way to go! You are our current BMB leader for picking something that actually happened (even if it was just predicting that something wouldn’t happen, which is why my next BMB prediction will be “the world will not explode tomorrow”).

Tampa could break the bank to get Quinn should he fall. Otherwise, Calvin Johnson is the guy.

Wrong on the Tampa part. Calvin was OK. I guess you did OK here, but I’m not sure. Were you predicting that these 2 guys would be good or that Tampa would get one of them? You’ve got to post your predictions clearly, people.

7. Here's my feast or famine list (short for now & add to it if you see if):

Automatic disqualification for predicting that these guys would “either be really good or not good”. Oh hey, I’ve got a BMB prediction: “Someone will either win or lose their next game”.

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Naj

San Fran and Tampa Bay win their divisions.

1 for 2 in calling a division winner. Not horrible…

Indy, Chicago, Cinci and San Diego do not.

2 of 4 in calling something that has a 3 of 4 chance. Getting worse…

Jax and GB host playoff games.

1 of 2. I’m noticing a theme here…

New Orleans, Baltimore, Tenn, Jets, and Dallas watch the playoffs from home.

Maybe I’ll just start calling you “Mr. Average”

Kevin Curtis leads the league in receiving.

This is the Naj I know and laugh at

Joseph Addai in rushing.

So close. If only it wasn’t for LaDainian Tomlinson, Adrian Peterson, Brian Westbrook, Willie Parker, Jamal Lewis, Clinton Portis, Edgerrin James, Willis McGahee, Fred Taylor, Thomas Jones (Thomas Jones!), Marshawn Lynch, LenDale White and Frank Gore, you would’ve gotten this one right

Jon Kitna in passing yardage.

There’s a fine line between “hey I’m about to make a BMB prediction” and “hey, I just smoked some crack. I think I’ll log on to TMF and see what’s going on at 77’s board.”

SB Champs....the Denver Broncos [over NE] over the...what the heck - Iggles [over CAR].

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok, ok, let me comment… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m sorry I just can’t do it.

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Nickelsworth

Packers #2 WR outperforms Randy Moss (catches/yds/TD's).

I guess you can take comfort in the fact that you’d fit in with 31 other NFL GM’s.

Stephen Jackson (NFC) and Travis Henry (AFC) lead league in rushing.

You see the list of running backs I named above who were above Naj’s pick? Well add about 200 more names to that and you’ll find these guys.

Larry Fitzgerald (NFC) and Lee Evans (AFC) lead league in receiving.

1/2 point for Fitzgerald, since he did ok. That’s balanced out by the -5 you get for Evans though.

P Manning (AFC - yeah, "manly") and I'll agree with Naj (can I still call you that?) - John Kitna (NFC) lead league in passing.

-2 for Kitna
-5 for picking Manning to lead AFC passing in a BMB thread
-15 for getting the Manning prediction wrong

Denver (over Pittsburgh) over Rams (over Car) in the SB.

Perhaps we can pretend you never made this prediction?

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CarlHungus

Brett Favre doesn't play just like he's a kid out there having fun AND doesn't play with a "gun slinger" attitude

Figures Favre had to go rub it in my face. What an a$$.

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dcccats5

BMB's through my "Big Blue" colored glasses:

Eli Manning leads the league in passing yards, completion % and TD's
Brandon Jacobs leads the league in rushing yards
Aaron Ross leads league in interceptions and wins Def. ROY
Steve Smith wins offensive ROY


OK--now, not through the blue glasses

Eli throws more TD's than Peyton
Cadilac Williams leads league in rushing yards
Rookie Anthony Gonzalez has more TD catches than Randy Moss
Giants win more games than Jets


All of these Giants-themed predictions and you couldn’t even predict that they’d win the Superbowl?! You would’ve been a BMB god! A god, man! Instead, this makes you even worse than these other armchair analysts: you were so high on the Giants and you missed the biggest prediction of all. For shame.

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plato90s

Chargers miss the playoffs as Philip Rivers throws for over 4,000 yards while LDT gets the fewest carries of his career to date.

It’s tough to squeeze that much into one sentence and not be right about any of it (unless you’re Naj). Quite a feat. I’m impressed.

Joey Harrington leads the Falcons to a playoff spot.

So far, this is our leader for “worst prediction 0f 2007 that did not involve Kyle Boller”

Vince Young has a spectacular crash in QB ratings as the Titans tie the Texans in the cellar of the division.

If you would’ve left it with VY you would’ve been fine. But no, you had to extend it to the entire Titans team. You had to get greedy, didn’t you?

Randy Moss makes it through an entire season without doing something to make fans want to rip their hair out.

I’m going to need some clarification: Did you mean Pats fans or everyone else?


Kyle Boller makes more than 5 starts for the Ravens.

Points for making Kyle Boller’s number of games started (not completion %, TDs or any other stat, mind you. Just games started) a BMB prediction. Bonus points for making it only 5 games.

Donovan McNabb misses at least 5 starts with the Eagles.

*yawn* This is like predicting that Naj will predict that the Eagles will go to the NFC championship. Is there a year it doesn’t happen?

Manning gets sacked more often than he ever has since his rookie season.

Brilliant

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Naj (again)

Houston wins 9 games. Lions win 8.

I think it’s funny that Houston won 8 and the Lions won 7. Kind of like god is teasing you.

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averagjoe

2007 Division winners:

AFC
East: Pats
North: Ravens
South: Colts
West: Broncos

NFC
East: Cowboys
North: Bears
South: Saints
West: Seahawks


4/8 right, with 3 of your correct picks being NE, IND and SEA. More like small, girly balls.

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WonderPup

Niners to the Super Bowl.

I assume you were thinking that they would all travel as a group to sit in the stands and watch the NFC’s Superbowl representative play, right?

Packers to the playoffs.

Double bonus points b/c you had the balls to make this pick as a Vikings fan. Good work.

Tavaris Jackson ends the year with a QB rating in the top 1/3 of the league.

Just when I thought you weren’t being a Vikings homer

Kelly Holcomb not only does not become the starter for the Vikings by week 2 (sorry, Naj), but never even sees the field for them. (OK, not that bold, but had to go on record with this one.)

I only know this is wrong b/c I was forced to start Kelly Holcomb once in my 2 QB fantasy league. I would’ve been better off starting Jake Pummer.

Chester Taylor runs for more TDs than Adrian Peterson.

Adrian Peterson runs for more TDs than Travis Henry.


Again, why must you people always get so greedy? Just make 1 prediction and go with it.

Travis Henry does NOT knock up a 10th woman for a 10th child.

I can only assume this was wrong

Randy Moss plays 10 games or less for the Pats, and misses parts of at least 2 of them with hamstring problems.

If Randy Moss were reading this, he would so be fake mooning you right now (and it would be a DISGUSTING ACT!)

Brady Quinn gets at least 5 winning starts this season.

No but he looked superhot in that one commercial, so I’ll count that for 1/2 a start

Rex Grossman leads the NFC in TD passes.

Um…

Next year's #1 pick in the draft: Tampa Bay.

I don’t think that division winners get next year’s #1 pick, right? I could be wrong here, though.

First coach to lose his job: Jon Gruden.

To be fair, he should’ve lost it, but he won the Glazers over for one more season with his boyish good looks and serial killer charm.

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NevadaGolfer

Lions are division champs.

They are in God’s eyes. And isn’t that what counts?

It doesn’t count?

Has anyone told Tony Dungy?



Giants win the Super Bowl. Tiki gets to interview Tom Coughlin on the field after the game if NBC has the TV rights this year.

DING DING DING!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!! Wow. Right even down to the awkward Tiki Barber post-game interview (I’ll overlook the location and interviewee).

You sir, have the biggest, manliest balls of all. ALL HAIL NEVADAGOLFER!

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So there it is, your 2007 BMB predictions in review. I would like to thank everyone (especially naj) for providing so much easy comedy fodder. Keep it up in the offseason.

Until next season,

-CH
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