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AP Broken News
2:08 pm, 2/28/2003

ALEXANDRIA, VA (AP)

A mysterious break-in has left the employees of The Motley Fool® & local police investigators scratching their heads.

"We just don't know why anyone would break in & steal just a few faxes & computer files about our annual Feste Award", co-founder Tom Gardner was quoted as saying. "Why, there's a perfectly good foosball table sitting over there, untouched. Wouldn't someone rather play foosball than read articles about the Feste Award winners?".

Sources close to the investigation say that a broken canoe paddle & several Palm Clusters were found scattered about the room. The paddle appears to have been manufactured by a Canadian firm.

A witness, working in another office within the building, was reported to have heard a man screaming "If I can't have the Feste Award Third Class with Palm Clusters then NOBODY gets to find out about those Feste winners!" as he ran from the scene.

No other information was forthcoming from investigators at this time.

AP-ES-02-28-03 1408EST
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