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BUSINESS HUMOR

Dilbert's New Work Words

* ADMINISPHERE: The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file. "This latest nonsensical directive just came down from the adminisphere."
* ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
* ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss, rather than working hard. "He got that promotion through assmosis."
* BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who's responsible.
* CUBE FARM: An office area filled with cubicles. "I'm working down on the cube farm."
* FLIGHT RISK: Employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
* GENERICA: Feature of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
* OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
* PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and peoples' heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
* SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
* SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and flies off.
* SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that's useless because its magnetic strip is worn away from excessive use.
* TOURISTS: People who take training classes and go to conferences, just to get away from their jobs. "We had three serious attendees and the rest were tourists."
* TREEWARE: Hacker slang for documentation and other printed material.
* UNINSTALLED: Euphemism for being fired, as in "You have reached the number of an uninstalled VP. Please dial the Operator for assistance." (Syn: Decuitment).
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