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But to answer your question - the best way for him to have motivated me would have been to increased his attention towards me, supported me, so I felt like I needed to do something to contribute. The fact that he withdrew allowed me to as well.



I am sorry that you had to go through this but it has reinforeced to me my previous behaviour. DH has been laid off twice since I have known him. Once before we were married and once after. Previous to us meeting he was laid off for over a year.

During the first one I weathered with him I was as supportive as I could be but did have to lay down the law and tell him that we have a partnership and I couldn't do it all by myself. He was sliding toward depression and If he had gotten that far I don't think I could have stuck with it. Fortunately he found new jobs within 2-3 months each time and we have been back on track for sometime.

Now we have a 7 month old and I would love to be a SAHM at least part time but we cannot afford it. I make a bit more than DH and he isn't interested in being the SAHD. We make enough to pay for daycare but not enough for me to quit and still pay all our other expenses...

Interesting topic, especially in this economy (and in Michigan where the unemployment rate is especially high).
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