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But what if a non-Jew brings chametz into your home and then leaves crumbs on your floor or leftovers on your table. They in effect become yours.

How so? If he left his jacket at your house, would that also become yours?

Of course not. It's just someone else's stuff in your house. There are a few practical reasons why it's not a good idea, and I wouldn't recommend it.

I presumed that the dinner would be eaten on the host's plates using her silverware.

I think the idea that any kosher meal can be eaten on the plates and silverware of a gentile is pretty ridiculous. If I find myself having to dine at a gentile's home, I bring my own food, and disposable plates and flatware.

In any event, this is all highly theoretical. The Jew in question hasn't attended a Seder in 10 years, and probably doesn't know or care about these details.
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