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We've all had 'em; embarassing moments. Usually there's one that stands out above the rest. Here's mine.

Year: 1977
Place: New Buffalo, Michigan
Setting: A nightclub

A friend and I wandered into a bar called "Just Freddies." Actually, we didn't just wander...we drove 70 miles to get there since Indiana's drinking age was 21 and Michigan's was only 18 at the time.

We goes inside and the place is dark, subdued. Prospects didn't look good but we're two hot young doods, destined for tang. If there was any there, we would find it.

We could sniff it out from behind walls back then, I tell ya. In fact, we were so good, we would douse for babes on our map of bars within a 100 mile radius.

We gets ourselves a drink and we notice two foxy numbers hit the dance floor and start boogie-oogie-ing like there's no tomorrow. We look at each other, me'n Larry, and we both say Oh Yahhhh, with a nod.

We strut on over to the dance floor, gold chains a-jingling, where these two hot dishes were the only ones cuttin' the rug. "I'll take the one with the long hair" I says to my poonie pal.

This old Jester really knew how to turn on the heat on the floor in those days. Sliding right up close and jigglin' all up and down, with nothing but body heat and the prospect of sweet love between us.

I knew I was doing good, because everyone in the bar kind of stopped drinking and turned towards us. The person who I later found out was the owner, even came over and leaned on a post and watched us.

Time to turn on the heat.

I reached deep in my honey-snatchin' arsenal, and gave my partner my most irresistable look: Cold Steel I call it. I began bumping, and then grinding my hip up against this gorgeous creature, all but dry-humpin' right there on the dance floor.

We finished dancing and a few people clapped. I winked at the person I hoped would nest up at my crib that night, before turning and heading back to the bar with Larry.

We sit down, order another drink, and a woman comes over and asks Larry a question.

Does your friend here know that he was just dancing with a guy?

Turns out it was strictly a gay bar. With a name like Just Freddies, we should have known.

We threw our babe-dousing map away that night and vowed never to speak of it again.

Heterosexual Paul T.
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