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I am sick and tired of the abuse of my good name by so called Christians, so I am registering to have it copyrighted. No more will Pat Robertson be able to say that Jesus wants you to give money for his Learjet. I'll sue him. You have been warned. Find a new name for intolerance, stop using mine.

In addition, my title is not “The Prince of tear a piece out of the unbelievers hide,” it is “The Prince of Peace” (although I do admit to toying with the idea of changing my name to a glyph and being known as “The Messiah Formerly Known as the Prince of Peace).

You may also want to re read the Bible you quote so much. It says that I will sit on the right hand of my father and separate the sheep from the goats. Nowhere does it say that I will be consulting with you for advice.

You wish to damn others to an eternity in hell over subtle interpretations of my words. Here is a clue for you. I didn't speak English and my words weren't highlighted in red. For nearly a century what you now battle over was oral tradition. Even after it was written down it was shaped by man, down to determining what books will make up the scriptures. Anyone read the Gospel of St. James lately? It is my personal favorite. In addition, there have been translations from translations from translations. These were all done by fallible men. There are mistakes. Won't you feel silly when you bet your life on a mistaken translation?

In short, love one another. Have a little lovin' sometime. I got the bread and wine; Dad took sex as his sacrament. Why do you think people scream his name when it is particularly good? Have you ever heard anyone scream “Oh secular humanism, oh secular humanism, oh secular humanism you are incredible?”

Jesus H Christ®
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