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This is a cross-post from my thread on the Getting Organized board.
http://boards.fool.com/calling-a-bully-mgr-effective-tips-29...

For background, this is about me needing to call the head building manager to get some information related to all the paperwork I need to get (related to bankruptcy and other issues).

The issue here is she is a bully and I am a total coward when it comes with effectively handling confrontation. She is the only person that can access and give the information I need. When she isn't directly confrontational, she is also a passive-aggressive and doesn't return phone calls, but normally she is just a confrontational type that is a big power and control freak. She's been known to provoke people into yelling back at her, when they don't break down in tears (read the above link for more info.). The temptation for me is to hire say a lawyer, but I don't have the budget for doing this and, besides, I fear that if I use a lawyer, she'll only pull out her own lawyer and turn it into an unnecessarily litigious situation that I wouldn't be able to afford to keep up.

Now, my request is basically to get tips for keeping my nerves together and trying to stay un-provoked. I am trying to come up with a list of statements and questions to refer to, but I think I still need help in steeling myself.

Also: I want to make this phone call this week. The paperwork I am dealing with is time sensitive and frankly I should have started this at least two months ago.

Any tips and anecdotes welcome.

- Lois Carmen D.
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Get a friend to help. Even if your friend just sits by you while you make the call (and put it on speaker, if you can.)

I have a phone thing, I totally understand your fear here.

At various points, I've had people make calls pretending to be me (if calling a stranger) or sit with me while I do it.

A lot of people don't know how much it sometimes takes for me to "simply make a call." In fact, 95% of the time, I'd rather just drive somewhere and face someone in person than call.

Ishtar
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Hello Ishtar, thanks so much about having a friend to sit with me. I am trying to think if I can find a buddy for this, but the calls need to be made during the 9-5 office hours so maybe even if I can't have her with me, we can practice telephoning.

BTW I also got like 15 replies to my post on the Getting Organization board via this link http://boards.fool.com/calling-a-bully-mgr-effective-tips-29... . Every single post, in my opinion, had some really good and understanding tactics of handling a bully on the telephone. Quite honestly I didn't think I would get much that might apply to me, but every reply there resonated to me in some fashion (even one that had me laughing a bit, a fake "hang up" technique which I won't employ, but's sort of a funny passive-aggressive tactic if necessary).

Thanks again,
Lois
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ohhh...let me call. I love yelling at ppl on the phone. Lol!


especially ppl who think they are in control of everyone.

hmm...

I think I'm just in the mood to yell at someone.

Lady I.
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"ohhh...let me call. I love yelling at ppl on the phone. Lol!


especially ppl who think they are in control of everyone.

hmm...

I think I'm just in the mood to yell at someone.

Lady I. "

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You have a future in the debt collection industry.

Howie52
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No. of Recommendations: 1
You have a future in the debt collection industry.

Howie52



Lol! (thanks for the laugh, I needed that...)
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