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Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a Lafayette
Street tavern. After last call, the officer noticed a man
leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the street for a few minutes, with
the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity
and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to
find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few
minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove

Finally the man started the car, switched the wipers on and
off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the blinkers on and
off, honked the horn, and then switched on the lights. He
moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little,
and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more
vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and
started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time,
now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights,
promptly pulled the man over, and carried out a breathalyzer
test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no
evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to
accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer
equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man. "Tonight I'm the designated
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