No. of Recommendations: 10
Despite the alarmist tone of the book, your chances of having to defend yourself from zombies is somewhat less than your chance of being struck by lightning.

You obviously haven't been to one of our staff meetings.


Brooks covers Voodoo zombies and hollywood zombies in his book, but clearly he should have included a chapter on the office zombie.

The common office zombie may resemble the living dead, but don't be fooled. Mind numbing boredom may have destroyed his higher cognitive abilities, but office zombies are nowhere near as hostile. The danger here is that familiarity may breed complacency, and if you should ever encounter a real animated corpse, the differences may prove fatal.

* Office zombies eat donuts. Real zombies eat human flesh.
* Both office zombies and real zombies make moaning noises. However, office zombies usually stop after they've had their coffee.
* Office zombies are essentially uninterested in you. Real zombies are very interested in you, as a meal.
* Office zombies are capable of conversation, however inane it may be. Real zombies are mindless husks that can't form words.
* Office zombies may make biting remarks. Real zombies will take a bite out of your arm.
* Both office zombies and real zombies have a shambling, uncoordinated walk. However, office zombies are drawn to chairs, and will sit in one at the first opportunity. Real zombies will follow prey without stopping to rest.
* Office zombies may seem oblivious to the world, but if you cut off an arm, they'll react to the pain.
* Office zombies may occasionally smell bad, but not compared to the stench of a rotting corpse.

- Gus
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