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Hi everyone, and once again, I apologize for using Imp's board to air my personal chit but this the only social board I hang out on, really!!!

So, I finally went and did it.

Tuesday, I had surgery to take me from a Gigantically/Huge cup to a Within the Realm of Normal cup. A breast reduction.

One thing I have learned: I hate general anaesthesia. Makes me utterly ill. And I really like Dilaudid - the pain med.

The recovery has been FAR worse than I thought it would be. I thought I'd be all productive - making photobooks, organizing pictures digitally, putting stuff up on Shutterfly, cleaning out my e-mail, posting like mad on TMF, and doing all my Facebook games.

Reality? I've managed to redo my farm on Farmville and keep my head above water in Mafia Wars. Not that either of those are remotely related to reality or anything.

I'm exhausted, tired, worn out, wrung out.

I also lost about seven pounds. That's a lot off my chest, quite literally.

I went to the doctor today to have the drains removed (which hurt like h#ll, incidentally!), and I realized that

I. Have. No. Idea. What. To. Think. Of. My. Own. Body.

I have always been so... endowed... (think African fertility goddess statue endowed) that anything NORMAL seems insanely small.

My body image is so confused that I can't see straight, my SMALLEST, pre-kid bra seems two sizes too big and none of my favorite shirts fit right.

My husband is telling me that I look great, but I feel... bereft... somehow.

Yes, I am not my boobs and shouldn't define myself as such. But they've always been how my body was defined FOR me. It really was that bad. And now I feel like the thing that made me... me... is somehow gone.

Which is a 14-year-old reaction, not a 37-year-old one.

So now the healing starts, and I think I'm going to buy myself a new shirt or two.

AND, I have to figure out what on earth bra size I wear, the prospect of asking THAT question to get a real fitting, at my age, is relatively daunting, and somewhat humiliating.

So, that's my emotional outpouring for the week... back to catching up on all the boards.

A hearty congratulations to imp on the name change as well!

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