1. Make sure Cheney gets his regular check-ups.2. Make lunch date with Alan Greenspan. Every week. 3. Pick out mom and dad's room in the White House.4. Make sure Cheney takes his vitamins.5. Fix American education. This week. Make it clear I'm poor kids' friend. It's the other guys who want to keep 'em in those awful schools. Drill and test those little rugrats till they can read writin' and write readin'. And do 'rithmetic, too. (If I got an MBA, anybody can6. Make sure Cheney gets his exercise.7. Get some decent food around the place: Barbecue instead of salmon mousse. Beef barbecue. Drop the French wines in favor of longneck Lone Stars. (None for me, thanks. I'm driving.) No desserts for Cheney.8. Fix Medicare. Appoint blue-ribbon commission to tell me how. To chair it, pick some Democrat still within reach of reason. Like John Breaux.9. Fix Social Security. Get Steve Forbes to put together blue-ribbon commission to recommend changes. See if Pat Moynihan will chair it.10. Appoint blue-ribbon commission to study education in poorest school districts. As chair, find another Democrat. See if Andrew Young's interested. He's for school choice.11. Make sure Cheney gets his rest.12. Tell Californians they won't get their electricity back by trying to fix the price. Tell 'em to follow Pennsylvania's example and really deregulate. Tell 'em the surest way to cause a shortage of anything is to do just what they did: cap the price. Take it from an MBA.13. Cut taxes. Start with marriage tax, death tax, and that telephone tax that goes back to the Spanish-American War.14. Extend the North American Free Trade Act to South America. (I've never been great at geography, but this idea rates an A in economics.) Start with Chile.15. Ask Gore if he wants to be ambassador to Chad.16.Get a better tailor, one who can make my coats fit, instead of giving me that Howdy Doody look.17. Margaritas, quesadillas and mariachi music at all White House functions. Out with Barbra Streisand, in with Larry Gatlin.18. Put Cheney's phone number on laminated card in my wallet.19. Suggest Clinton go on speaking tour. Tell him to grant plenty of interviews and keep talking, especially about those pardons. And how he's not guilty of anything. Give him plenty of rope.20. Build anti-missile defense shield. Soon. Saddam isn't getting any nicer.21. Put picture of Reagan in more prominent place in White House. Ask Nancy to lunch. See if Ronnie's old speechwriters are available--not for the White House staff but to write op-ed pieces. They do more good there. Remember to cross out any colorful phrases in my speeches. Not nostrums but normalcy, that's the ticket.22. Be nice. Especially to Democrats; it drives 'em crazy.23. Be nice even to Republicans. Even to Tom DeLay. Even to John McCain. (I didn't realize how big this big tent was going to be.)24. Restore all dad's executive orders that Clinton revoked; revoke Clinton's.25. Make sure Cheney takes his pills.26. Stick with Ashcroft. If he's thrown to the mob, they'll smell blood.27. Get something done every day of the first Hundred Days, but don't be caught using the phrase. Everybody else is.28. Save the Electoral College. It's the least I can do. It saved me.28. Smile, don't smirk. Learn the difference.30. Pray. A lot.
You forgot...31. Be nice to that guy, Mike something, who plays me on theat NBC Saturday night show. He seems very smart. He's good looking. Maybe I can use him in my cabinet. Then he and I can play tricks on people and confuse 'em. Yeah. ;-)Alex
Consider it added. ;-)That guy, Mike, is great!
1. Make sure Cheney gets his regular check-ups.... 30. Pray. A lot.Don't Sore Losermen and Loserwomen ever get tired of whining? The real problem for the Loserpeople is there are not enough Loserpeople around to enjoy their whining. Too bad, so sad.
1. Make sure Cheney gets his regular check-ups.... 30. Pray. A lot.Don't Sore Losermen and Loserwomen ever get tired of whining? The real problem for the Loserpeople is there are not enough Loserpeople around to enjoy their whining. Too bad, so sad.Really, Res, what do you have against Dick Cheney? Or praying, for that matter?The real problem for the right wing is that Dubya's presidency is illegitimate and everyone knows it.
The real problem for the right wing is that Dubya's presidency is illegitimate and everyone knows it.Evidently not Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Alan Greenspan, the Supreme Court, or the Electoral College.Gore was never ahead in the balloting in Florida. Not once. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. In fact, he lost 5 or 6 recounts, depending on the county. He lost every machine count. He lost every hand count.Keep whining though, I sure am getting a kick out of it.Najps Maybe you should bring up the 'riots' in Miami again, those were funny stories.
Gore was never ahead in the balloting in Florida. Not once. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. In fact, he lost 5 or 6 recounts, depending on the county. Why did Dubya need the USSC to stop the counting of legally cast votes? Why was Scalia afraid that to continue counting the votes would cast doubt on the legitimacy of the Presidency? Why is the Right Wing repeating the mantra you cite above. (While the party faithful repeat your mantra, the hotshots in the party are laughing about how they "stole the election, fair and square")
<<Why did Dubya need the USSC to stop the counting of legally cast votes? Why was Scalia afraid that to continue counting the votes would cast doubt on the legitimacy of the Presidency? >> AlGore and his supporters generally favor an activist Supreme Court. You got one. What's to compalin about? Seattle Pioneer
? Why is the Right Wing repeating the mantra you cite above. (While the party faithful repeat your mantra, the hotshots in the party are laughing about how they "stole the election, fair and square") Uh, keep smoking that good crack you bought.It's not called a mantra, it's called the truth.Regardless, Gore conceded, so you're like 0 for 7 now.cheers,Naj
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