Skip to main content
Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
No. of Recommendations: 0
From one of my new favorite sites, complementing America's Finest News Source:
BakbakBNAK!! schHneeeeBORTTT Signs With Eagles

After 42 seconds of intense negotiation, the Philadephia Eagles signed their top pick in the 2146 NFL draft, bakbakBNAK!! schHneeeeBORTTT, the mercurial wideout from a remote planetoid in the whooooooOOOOOGoMMMM!!! Galaxy and Georgia Tech, to a five-year, $574 million contract.

"We're excited that bakbakBNAK!! schHneeeeBORTTT is on board," says Eagles coach Lou Pendergast. "We're gonna throw downfield more this season, and we think bakbakBNAK!! schHneeeeBORTTT will contribute right away. The kid's got tentacles."

"bneeebneeBNAK!!schniiiiimmmm GLORK, shcmthshthrghmthhhhh," drooled the 4'7" 562-megaton speedster, whose stock soared after clocking a blistering 4.08 40-yard dash at the NFL combine in Tampa. Georgia Tech teammate DeShon Jackson, who signed with Denver last week, concurs. "bakbak's got heart, man. One time in practice, our QB threw an interception, and the cornerback had, like, thirty yards on everbody, and bakbak comes out of nowhere, dude. Just ate him up. Right on the ten-yard line. Even the helmet. It was sick. You can't teach that, dude."
bakbakBNAK!! schHneeeeBORTTT also reported that he has already purchased a house in neighboring Bala Cynwyd, and looks forward to joining the Philadelphia Eagles community. He will not return punts.
Print the post  


What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and Glassdoor #1 Company to Work For 2015! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.