Breezy2u has privatley contacted me recently. She sounded very distraught over the transgressions of the past few days. Some of the words that were thrown at her are, perhaps, a bit overly harsh.I will not try to be a mother figure, since I am a male ;-); I will just ask everyone to be more accepting of Breezy's mistake. She has gone through a lot, and we all make mistakes sometimes, sometimes these mistakes are brought to emotions that are verbalized to others who are listening. In her distraught mode of thought, she decided to express her emotions. Perhaps her emotions were not worded in the way that they were actually meant.She has met a person that she had a wonderful date with and she was having those "post wonderful date jitters" that I'm sure everyoone has had. She decided to express those jitters publicly (Fred Astaire was similar about his emotions when he danced arounde singing "Singing in the Rain" did he not?). She gets flamed for her public display of pleasure? Yes, she over reacted, but perhaps the people who also reacted to her overdid it a bit, as well.All I am asking, from one Fool to another Fool, please show some sympathy. I can assure you, she is not the evil, stupid person that some of you seem to think.I leave the rest in your hands.-_- Alex -_-
You do realize you posted this on the wrong board, right? Not one person here ever called her an evil, stupid person.Donna
Thank you honey. I'm fine. Just wiser now.
I'm confused. Do you hate me or not?
1) Nobody hates you. Honest.2) This is just a message board. Even when peeps are meen they don't actually hate you; they really can't be bothered. Don't ask how I know this.3) Joey doesn't hate anybody. When he has bad thoughts, he picks up a donut or a bag of funyuns or something, and they go away. He is the most well-adjusted guy I know.HTH
Cripes, breezy, oh sorry, SHEOFNONAME, you already have a career. Don't throw it away for a new one in victimhood.Andrea
I'm fine Andrea.
I'm confused. Do you hate me or not? Why would I hate you?
Damn, greeked the egg and sausage chick.Is it going to be a fun day or what?
. She sounded very distraught over the transgressions of the past few days. Some of the words that were thrown at her are, perhaps, a bit overly harsh.I'm confused, what the heck happened?All I read was a thread where she was happy about her date and asked rhetorically what she would do to screw up the relationship.I saw a few serious posts, I made a joking post about how she would screw it up is by obsessing over screwing it up, the thread seemed to be going off on a humorous tangent of commentary but I didn't have time to keep up with it, so I dropped it.Was my attempt at humor misinterpretted? If so, I apologise.Or did the serious commentary get a little too strident? (I had considered responding seriously, but figured after one date this was no time to talk about past patterns and point out apparent past mistakes.)
When he has bad thoughts, he picks up a donuta) double chocolate onesb) does he sharec) he can keep the funyunsOdee
it wasn't you feleck. Over on the Single Fools, Worst.Board.Ever and Waffle's board, things got a bit uglier.
I'm fine Andrea.I can't stand it.Andrea
Can't stand what????jesus!
Can't stand what????jesus!No, Jesus I kind of like.And, Lord Help Me, I'm starting to find your victimhood rather entertaining.But, seriously, really SERIOUSLY (since I'm really not a meanie at heart) I think you should take Whafa's advice. And SOON.Andrea
I'm not taking anything from whafa. And I am not a victim. The issue is over.
LOL! :-D I'm an idiot! :-DAck! This should have been posted to the Single Fools board now that I think of it, not the S&R board. *sigh* I sure am dumb and am not smooth with the ladies.Overlooking the obvious,-_- Alex -_-
Don't worry about it Alex. I really just want to move on and never have contact with any of them again.
SheofNoName, Do you hate me or not?WATCH IT!!... You ALMOST stole my screen name!!;-)NoIDAtAll™
<<WATCH IT!!... You ALMOST stole my screen name!!;-)NoIDAtAll™ >>LOL... it may be that I'm living to close to Boston, but I always read that name as indicating you were clueless, not nameless (as in No Idea At All)<--- still giggling
LOL... it may be that I'm living to close to Boston, but I always read that name as indicating you were clueless, not nameless (as in No Idea At All)<--- still gigglingI've found it works this way, too, depending on my frame of mind at the moment and the context of a post. LOL - for example:http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=23604657 sofaking is a name I wouldn't mind using, too... Sofa King or So Faking. I wonder if 6 will lemme borrow it? ;-)
3) Joey doesn't hate anybody. When he has bad thoughts, he picks up a donut or a bag of funyuns or something, and they go away. He is the most well-adjusted guy I know.Thanks, thanks a lot.jk
I guess I just don't know him very well.On the plus side. I can't wait to meet scary. :-)
Over on the Single Fools, Worst.Board.Ever and Waffle's board, things got a bit uglier. Too lazy to verify that. But I get this visual of a damsel in distress, who has set her ownself on fire, running from message board to message board being followed by posters with buckets of water.~j
But I get this visual of a damsel in distress, who has set her ownself on fire, running from message board to message board being followed by posters with buckets of water.Reading your post conjures my own image of someone having doused themselves with kerosene and then running from board to board and running away after seeing people brandishing lit cigarettes, matches, lighters, etc untill finally coming face to face with someone wielding a flame thrower and an evil grin.It's the end of the week and I feel silly, so silly, hooray!
*eye rolls*So you're too lazy to verify it, but not too lazy to made a broad generalization about me and what happened?
So you're too lazy to verify it, but not too lazy to made a broad generalization about me and what happened? Well, since you asked... you've got a pretty set pattern. I trust you when you say that it got ugly elsewhere. I am sure u were paying attention to every detail. Afterall, it really is all about *you*, isnt it?I believe that you posted a picture of yourself, once, at a dog park or somewhere. If that was you, then my impression of you was that you were an attractive woman and would easily attract others to you. More attractive than average.However, your impuse to repell others is very strong. Its like a "look at me, look at me" and when they do, you start in with the "how can you look at me? I am such a failure". You might be a drama addict. ~j
So you're too lazy to verify it, but not too lazy to made a broad generalization about me and what happened?*blink* I thought it was just humorous imagery without actually relating directly to actualt events or people. Not a swipe at you personally.
No, I hate drama. I just tend to be a loner in real life. It's easier to repell others then to be rejected by them. I know my issues and I am working on them.The hard part with getting to know someone from a message board is that you tend to only get to know them when they have to vent about something. You don't see my when I am running my business, hanging with my friends and generally having a very nice life.Of course I know that my saying this is only going to draw more comments and frankly it has all been so completely draining that I can't think about it anymore.And I am not a failure by any stretch of the imagination. I am educated (BS degree after having been a high school drop out), run my own successful business, own a home, a car, have wonderful friends, family, dog and now a new boyfriend.And now I know that if I talk about my problems here they will be magnified to a million times the original size and made to be the entire characteristic of who I am.
Really? It was directed at me.
BTW, I wasn't trying to be snarky when I said that last night. It's just that this board has been pretty supportive of brezzy. We have occasionally, told her things she may not have wanted to hear, but no one has ever been cruel to her. The other boards, well, I can't speak for them, but the truth of the matter is those aren't the posters that breezy should be concerned about what they think anyway. Donna
Doona,Thank you but there is no need to explain the situation to me. Explain your point of view in an e-mail to her. :-)-_- Alex -_-
Good choice! :-D-_- Alex -_-
Rather than reply to my own post I picked the original, but I wasn't explaining it to you. I was just talking in general. Donna
Thanks, thanks a lot.You're too observant to be well adjusted.What makes it even funnier is that you know it.
Thank you Donna. I'm sorry if I got snarky. I'm trying really hard not to care.
*shrug*Um... okay.-_- Alex -_-
Really? It was directed at me.It was a reply to a post about you(perhaps from you, I don't recall what she quoted), that doesn't neccessarily make it about you.Noe, her subsequent post certainly makes it appear that she was taking a swope at you.But you could of just as easily treated it as not being a swipe against you and laughed along with the imagery.I find this to be one of the most effective ways of dealing with snide insults, as the person doing the insulting than either has to explain they are being insulting and comes across as a crass fool, or they have to pretend to go along with your interpretation which leaves them just looking like a fool. And of course, every now and then you run across someone who really is NOT being insulting, in which case you don't end up kicking yourself for misinterpetting their comments and blowing up at them.
Thank you Donna. I'm sorry if I got snarky. I'm trying really hard not to care. You know full well that I get along with them, it's not something I hide, yet even when I was frustrated the other day, I didn't join in with them...at least not to the same level. I don't deny I that I didn't express my frustration, but I think you'd be very hardpressed to find a post where I actually said anything in the same vein that has been going around. I also haven't said anything to them about laying off because I really feel it does no good when people have their minds already made up. I just choose to not be a part of it. They are not the people you should be wasting time thinking about. As for my part here, I was angry, but not because you are stupid or an idiot like you believe people see you, but because I was offended with the flip "it doesn't matter/doesn't apply" comment. It comes across as dismissive. How you choose to live your life is your business and no one should jugde, but you have to realize that when you post in a public forum you will get responses from the people you talk to. Not everythig is going to be what you want to hear, just like IRL. Just like you can be hurt or offended, so to can the rest of us.Anyway, I didn't mean to go over all this again. All I wanted to say was, don't let them get to you. Donna
I'm sorry if it sounded dismissive and I do value your input.
It's okay. I think it was just a very frustrating day all around, and there were several of us that just got caught up in the situation.Donna
I believe I helped. Or in the least invested abit of time with good heartedness.Now it's up to breezy to take ahold of her inner dignity & simply shake it all off.We learn really good lessons with our accumulative "skinned knees".Lets all embrace love as the finer way.Oh yeah forget the "ew" thing.Or go ahead, its all ok.
(Fred Astaire was similar about his emotions when he danced arounde singing "Singing in the Rain" did he not?). Except that was Gene Kelly.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0045152/
You're wrong about me, Breezy. I am not a bad person. This is just a situation that went way out of control. My board isn't mine any more than yours is yours. Someone else changed the name in a brutal retaliation of my name-changing elsewhere. She even owned up to it: http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=23614423 It was a joke and a bad one, and a meen one, but it wasn't mine. I don't have control over these people. I'm not their leader or anything. I'm not on private speaking terms with more than 3 or 4 of them. I'm not even really in the loop. It's a crowd mentality and who cares anyway, because everybody who posts here daily is pretty much a loser, bored with a desk job and nothing to do, wasting time chatting with imaginary friends, hoping to get an atom of satisfaction or two from some recs. Especially me.
You're wrong about me, Breezy. I am not a bad person. This is just a situation that went way out of control. My board isn't mine any more...From your posts I've read, I didn't think you were a bad person, at all, whafa. I don't know specifics about what Windy referenced, on several occasions here, as I haven't seen specific links. Her comments referencing your name in regards to a personal attack surprised me, very much, quite frankly.
She even owned up to it: http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=23614423That was me laughing when I saw the new board name. I did not change the name myself, for the record.LCK
Damn, greeked [by] the egg and sausage chick.I'm now convinced joey identifies other posters in his mind by their favored foodstuffs.-synchronicity
You know, I didn't quite understand waffles, what seemed like abit of a chennybush manuvre' of dodgeing the topic. This particularly when the link to LCK had a rather obscure at best feign (spell).The thing I am not getting, is, can someone other than originator of a chitchat board actually change a boards name?Joseph - naive about such, nor particularly motivated to change names of others buisness.
Damn, greeked [by] the egg and sausage chick.Is this like a "strap-on" after breakfast? You go girl!osd
Over on the Single Fools, Worst.Board.Ever and Waffle's board, things got a bit uglier. Too lazy to verify that. But I get this visual of a damsel in distress, who has set her ownself on fire, running from message board to message board being followed by posters with buckets of water.Or marshmallows.Andrea
No, I hate dramaLOL!!Andrea
Andrea,Being the queen of office drama I'm sure you think that most people live that way. Don't assume you know me when you don't.
Being the queen of office drama I'm sure you think that most people live that way. Don't assume you know me when you don't.You've got me mixed up with my co-worker.Andrea
Don't assume you know me when you don't.NoName,I'll admit I don't know you at all. But, I do know how easy it is to like someone, spend a night or two with them, and think that it's all in good fun, with no feelings attached - only to discover that there are feelings attached, and to end up feeling kind of sad about the whole thing.The old timey rules about "good girls" and "bad girls" were bullsh*t, and I'm glad they're gone. But, the freedom to have sex with whoever you want, with no commitment or promises, has its own drawbacks. There's nothing wrong with holding out for someone who you know really well, have a committed loving relationship with, and might want to marry - lots of girls do that. There's also nothing wrong with being casual about it all - but, then you have to be ready to tough it out when it feels lonely and sad later. I think the negative comments you got were a reaction to the reality of this choice, like "What did you expect from a one-night stand?"Also, speaking for myself, it's painful to see these private feelings aired in public. A lot of the advice might be motivated by "tough love" along the lines of "Pull yourself together, woman." So, yeah, I don't know you or what your RL personality is like. My bottom line on the whole thing is (1) I'm sympathetic to the hazards of modern sex, having been there & done that, (2) but, that's just the way it is - ya gotta be tough if you're going to go the casual route. I mean this all kindly, and trust you to take it that way.Pine
There is nothing casual about this. I want a relationship with him.I'm still walking on air and the nice thing is, so is he.:-)
Okay, I'm giving up too.
Good! I'm not exactly sure why you all seem so determined to tell me that I am wrong about him. Or that I shouldn't feel this way. What is the worst thing that will happen? The relationship goes south and I am disappointed? It's not like I've never felt that before.I am a very open person. It is just my nature. He actually likes that about me and responds in kind. I am not going to pretend to be someone else just because he might not like me the way I am.I'm sorry if this is so frustrating for everyone to accept, but I am not endangering my life or career. I will be fine.I am much more worried about getting ripped apart here on the boards then I am about getting hurt in my dating life.So "give up" (whatever that means) if you want to, or just like me for who I am and be happy for me and know that if all of your concerns are right, that I will still be ok.
And I just reread your post and realized that you were talking about waffle and not my new guy.I apologize.I didn't know waffle well enough to know that it was a one night stand. Yes, it was a mistake. It was also a mistake to let the boards get to me and to have eventually discussed it at all.Waffle is a nice guy and I hate that things went this way. But I am fine and he is fine and hopefully we have all moved on.Frankly, I am fine with the one night stand thing and I do understand what you are saying about that. What I don't understand is the mean spirited attacks made by certain posters. I am not a mean person and I believe it builds a great deal of bad kharma to do so. But I do realize that there are some bad people in the world and if this is as close as I currently get to them, that is fine.My friends know me and love me and respect me for what I have done with my life. I am healthy and happy. Don't feel frustrated. I am FINE. Really!
I didn't know waffle well enough to know that it was a one night stand.<delurk>I have played this sentence several times in my head.As it washes back and forth, back and forth, the cognitive dissonance inherent in this sentence sets up groovy little harmonies with my own mind-boggles, until it forces my lips apart. Mea culpa, I cannot keep my big mouth shut.I have nothing against one night stands. It's not a moral issue for me. I don't respect you less or more for doing it, any more than I would respect you less or more for preferring grape to strawberry. So far as I'm concerned, two consenting adults should keep it between themselves.But you haven't, which is why I feel permissioned to ask: How can you sleep with someone you don't know well enough to know whether it's a one night stand, and then be surprised it was only a one night stand? Am I that old?? Are things that different for others, especially younger others?Before lizmonster and I advanced to the boffing eachothers' brains out as often as possible stage of our relationship, we'd already talked about sex, disease (and the avoiding of it), financial philosophies, past relationships, whether we wanted to be married (not to each other, but in general), whether we wanted children, etc etc. If we'dve just wanted sex one or several times, we'dve gone ahead and known fully what we were in it for. As it was, by the time it came to the horizontal bop, there was really only one question not yet answered, and we had a lot of fun answering it.You should try it next time, and I mean that in as nice and sincere a way possible. Talk about some of these things beforehand, so that you're not disappointed by them afterwards.</delurk>--FY
Excellent point. And a very good one. I guess you just had to be there to understand. Really though. I just want to move on. I'm not angry at waffle, I'm not angry at myself. I am not stalking him and do not want to date him just as he is not interested in dating me.I am happy and I just want to focus on that.
I didn't know waffle well enough to know that it was a one night standNo, you didn't know yourself well enough to know that it was a one night stand.
Are you suggesting that I wanted a one night stand?
Are you suggesting that I wanted a one night stand? Nope. Quite the opposite.
Nope. Quite the opposite.-------------I see what you're saying. You are completely correct. I should have controlled myself.
I think I see why you can't let go. You're one of those people who always has to have the last word, which is why you keep responding to every single post in this thread, and digging yourself deeper and deeper into a hole of BSCism.-CH
Yes, how odd of me to want to post on a message board. I should definitely be put in a straight jacket for posting on a board that I have been posting on for years just because a bunch of idiots enjoy calling me crazy.
Seriously, people. Let's let this go. Those of us who have been around TMF for awhile know that this thread/topic (i.e., I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE NEW BOYFRIEND) is not going anywhere interesting or productive. LCK
Yes, how odd of me to want to post on a message board. I should definitely be put in a straight jacket for posting on a board that I have been posting on for years just because a bunch of idiots enjoy calling me crazy. Exactly.-CH
I'm sorry, but the last post belongs to PineBat.
Who is John Galt?And, what's up with the sudden name changes?
Well initially I was just trying to avoid the attention, but that didn't work. So I just decided on a new one that I liked. Just trying to make myself comfortable around here again so I can keep the friends I do have.
Well initially I was just trying to avoid the attentionHeh.ErikPS: You should've kept breezy2u.
I wasn't feeling very breezy.
Here he is.http://www.strike-the-root.com/columns/Bottoms/bottoms21.html???Andrea
I support Windys new moniker, is quite appropriate & isn't it simply great that we all get to choose what is right for each of us?I also might add to Andrea's excellent link above, almost a mirror that I myself posted last night at the "rant" board.http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=23627667
LOL. What doi I know? :-D-_- Alex -_-
My god there are a lot of lurkers on this board. 52 recs? I know there are not 52 people posting here.Lurkers, please feel free to open up and share. We promise we will not tell your neighbors.CiB
Nope. Quite the opposite.-------------I see what you're saying. You are completely correct. I should have controlled myself. I hate it when someone gets guilted into saying something they really don't mean.Question: Did you have a good time?CiB
He didn't guilt me into saying it. He's right. Yes, I had a good time. But I also know that I tend to stop thinking at certain points and then feel bad later. I should have known that.I think that was his point and I was just acknowledging that it was correct.
Yes, I had a good time. But I also know that I tend to stop thinking at certain points and then feel bad later. I should have known that.The great thing about when the bf and I first hooked up was the utter lack of emotional turmoil on my end. Did he want to keep seeing each other? That would be fine, he was nice and fun. Did he want to make the night a one-off? Fine, I was confident we'd still be friends and interact without and embarrassment or weirdness on either side. Plus? New garbage disposal!LCK
But I'm not as cool as you are.
I now aspire to be like LCK.And I think I'm doing well in that regard.
But I'm not as cool as you are.Experience is the best teacher. I was 37 when we started dating -- too old to lose my head over a boy.LCK
The great thing about when the bf and I first hooked up was the utter lack of emotional turmoil on my end. Did he want to keep seeing each other? That would be fine, he was nice and fun. Did he want to make the night a one-off? Fine, I was confident we'd still be friends and interact without and embarrassment or weirdness on either side.That pretty much sums up what it is like to be a guy.CiB
But I'm not as cool as you are. Few are.
It's a blessing and a curse.
Well, it was a mistake... in so many ways that I can't even count them now. Maybe by 37 I will have learned. I have another year...
<<I now aspire to be like LCK.>>I now aspire to have my boyfriend be more like LCK's. ;-)
My god there are a lot of lurkers on this board. 52 recs? I know there are not 52 people posting here.Lurkers, please feel free to open up and share. We promise we will not tell your neighbors.CiBWhen a post hits TMF's "best of" a lot more community members view, and often tend to "rec" the post.
When a post hits TMF's "best of" a lot more community members view, and often tend to "rec" the post.Got it; the whole herd mentality thing. Everyone else thinks this is good so I must.CiBMooooo
Got it; the whole herd mentality thing. Everyone else thinks this is good so I must.CiBMoooooOCF: Bahhhhhhh.Erik
OCF: Bahhhhhhh.OCD: OCDCiB
OCF???Don't start with me, GF.Erik
OCF???Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation - A group with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
If we'dve just wanted sex one or several times, we'dve gone ahead and known fully what we were in it for. As it was, by the time it came to the horizontal bop, there was really only one question not yet answered, and we had a lot of fun answering it.I would be totally disappointed by this, but I know CaveGirl was there that day too.Starr ;)
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