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No. of Recommendations: 7
From the Boss:

To: Raggmopp, Burley, and The Rabid Frisky Cheerleaders (love that cleavage, Suzette).

I think it is time that we – by that I mean particularly me – should realize that the possibility of me winning The Feste Award grows ever less with each nomination. I am finding that this onrush of talent, content and value to others to be more than daunting – it's becoming embarrassing. I fear that my chances – slim as they were at the beginning when I was the Lone Feste Applicant – were dashed with one nomination. My chances were not cut to fifty percent but the whole enchilada.

Therefore I have decided that my efforts – and others' efforts on my behalf – will be more usefully applied to the one award that I have the slightest chance of getting: The Feste Award Third Class with Palm Cluster. Yes, I realize that I made up the Award. I did that because I realized the main Award, The Feste would go to cogency, perspicuity, quintessence, extensiveness and owning a thesaurus.

I do not believe I am admitting failure by not aiming that The Feste Award and concentrating on The Feste Award Third Class with Palm Cluster. It is that I am putting things in perspective and realizing that contesting against those already nominated is futile and, with more to be nominated, resistance is futile.

Point: is The Feste Award Third Class with Palm Cluster within my grasp? I think it is partially because it comes with an ugly trophy that no one wants (a bronze casting of two Canadian copulating in a canoe set on a plinth representing a waterfall that canoe and passengers are about to be swept over and titled 'So Far, So Good'). Also, there is no one of my caliber at TMF: at least there's no one that would admit it publicly. I am, therefore, a cinch for the award, the trophy and any pecuniary offering TMF gives to The Feste Award Third Class with Palm Cluster.

At the voting of The Feste Award there will be a choice of ten fine people. Chose from that list and you'll recognize the best at TMF. However, there will be a check box, number 11 for The Feste Award Third Class with Palm Cluster Check that box. It has but one name besides it: mine. The check is then in the mail.

MichaelR


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Al Gore wrote that speech for you, didn't he?

RR
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No. of Recommendations: 1
Al Gore wrote that speech for you, didn't he?

RR


Well, actually, no. I had one of Al Gore's speechwriters give an input on it yet it involved learning a body language that I couldn't impart in my post. You know, jerk left arm up, move forward a few inches, lower left arm and punch right arm sideways, that sort of thing. I didn't find this information useful. Possibly because I don't have Al's woodenness: I am lither. In fact, anyone with any mobility is lither than Al. In fact, anyone breathing is lither than Al.

You should see a speech outline for Al. “I believe,” (here look upward) “that we are designed for greatness,” (lift left arm upwards) “if we can take the opportunity,” (lower left arms and raise right arm and left foot) “to ameliorate the exigencies,” (drop right foot and move into seventh Tai Chi position) “that are evident in our society now,” (unbend and give symbolic karate chop).

As a writer of political speeches (“I do not believe the present condition as likely.”) I could not use Al's speechwriters as a source. I prefer President Bush's writers: “I ain't gonna take a contrary position but I gonna not agree with the preposition, er, proposition, er, polarity with its negative.”

I figure that I can sweep The Feste Award Third Class with Palm Cluster in that I pronounce nuclear as three syllables rather than two. I figure that my diction is a means to achieving the coveted award. That, plus bribery and extortion, will win the day.

MichaelR


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That, plus bribery and extortion, will win the day.
===*===

Not to mention the RFCs doing their thing on the judgie-wudgies. WOOT!

Rabid
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