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No. of Recommendations: 86
Q: How many members of an ethnic minority does it take to perform a menial task?



A: A positive finite integer. One to perform the menial task, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of that ethnic minority.
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Thanks for this!! I was trying to find it when we had a Canadian ridiculed for being...er....Canadian a couple days ago.

I see a computer program that gives you the punchline, and asks you to identify the minority.....could reduce the list of alternates with each guess....

Sebb
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No. of Recommendations: 27
I tangentially acquainted with many members of social groups and I am deeply offended at your suggestion that people of such background behave in a predictable manner while performing unspecified menial tasks. It is especially offensive that you have chosen to draw attention to such behavior merely as an occasion for levity.

Please enlighten yourself. We are now living in the twenty-first century, and it is high time that we learn to treat all peoples of vaguely defined social categories with the respect they are entitled to.

Cordially,

Cheeze
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How many TMF board monitors does it take to FA a post?

Keith
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I am deeply offended at your suggestion...

That's a pretty typical response for someone of your ethnic persuasion!

You people are so sensitive!
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Cheeze got me to go back to the "original" and give it one more rec....up to 39 now, lets go for 50....LOL

Please enlighten yourself. We are now living in the twenty-first century, and it is high time that we learn to treat all peoples of vaguely defined social categories with the respect they are entitled to.

Cordially,

Cheeze


Juz luv the "headsup" you folks give us on one I might have missed....<VBEG>

KBM (BTW respectfully - Rec'ed that post")

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"I tangentially acquainted with many members of social groups and I am deeply offended at your suggestion that people of such background behave in a predictable manner while performing unspecified menial tasks. It is especially offensive that you have chosen to draw attention to such behavior merely as an occasion for levity."

How many socially enlightened persons (aka TMF censors) does it take to change a lightbulb?

The floor is open to suggestions.

~aj
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How many socially enlightened persons (aka TMF censors) does it take to change a lightbulb?


Two - one to change the bulb and one to make a judgment call as to whether the new bulb conforms to TMF's Terms of Service and Illumination Guidelines.
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How many socially enlightened persons (aka TMF censors) does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. But they have to be alerted by any ol' fool to the lack of illumination. Or the lack of proper illimination. Or the lack of politically correct, socially enlightend, environmentally responsible illimination.

--Peter
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No. of Recommendations: 4
100% in the spirit of offering more for those who liked this version of the joke, and 0% in the spirit of accusing the OP of plagiarism, this appeared (originated?) in a thread at the Straight Dope message boards:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=322326

The thread invited participants to tell a classic joke in such a way that the point was entirely missed and the joke was ruined. The irony, as one poster pointed out, was that the result was one of the funnier threads on the whole forum. A couple others I liked:

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a baseball."

Q: How can you tell if an elephant's been in your refrigerator?
A: The refrigerator is severely damaged. Elephants are very strong animals.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Radiation sickness.

awiseowl






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How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, Bill Gates declares darkness the standard.


How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulg?

None, it's a hardware issue.


How many brewmasters does it take to change a lightbulb?

1/3 as many as it takes to change a regular bulb.


It would appear that your formula is not quite perfect.

Keith
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No. of Recommendations: 25
"... 0% in the spirit of accusing the OP of plagiarism, this appeared (originated?) in a thread at the Straight Dope message boards..."

I don't have it in me to call someone a plagiarist for passing on a joke published somewhere else. If jokes weren't retold, their lifespan would be one man's haha, and instead of standing in a circle and listening to him repeat it for our amusement, the rest of us would sit around scratching out butts and frowning at each other. Keeping a joke to oneself without passing it on should be declared a felony punishable by six months of confinement with Richard Simmons as a cellmate. I'd rather hear a bad joke, than not hear one at all. And to those critics who complain that a joke they hear/read does not make them pee their pants, all I can say is, STFU, go find a better joke and then come back and tell us, so we can all pee our pants while we shower you with recs.

OJ: What's a Jewish wife's idea of a perfect house?
6,000 sq. ft., no kitchen, no bedroom.


~aj
flagrant joke plagiarist
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0% in the spirit of accusing the OP of plagiarism

Despite the 0% disclaimer, I wish I'd phrased this differently. I was just afraid that if I said "Hey, this came from the Straight Dope- look!," some (and worst of all, the OP) would take my meaning to be "You thieving bastard, you." Not my intention at all. Funny jokes should absolutely be passed around- we're in complete agreement.

Heard elsewhere from a couple of TMFers, who for all I know may have gotten them from this board:

A seal walks into a bar. Bartender says "What'll you have?" Seal says "Anything but a Canadian club."

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

awiseowl
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"Despite the 0% disclaimer, I wish I'd phrased this differently. I was just afraid that if I said "Hey, this came from the Straight Dope- look!," some (and worst of all, the OP) would take my meaning to be "You thieving bastard, you." Not my intention at all... "

Your phraseology was fine, and your intent clear. My response, in case it wasn't clear, was in support of both your post and the OP.

~aj
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Awww, aj, I think awiseowl is okay; don't ruffle his feathers too much. *pats awiseowl on his no-neck head* So what he's not too savvy on this board and perhaps slightly socially inept, but who on this board is really socially ept? Besides, I appreciate that link and he sounds like the type of geek I would enjoy.

awiseowl, aj is the daddy here and we waiver between being outrageously and angrily pc and outrageously and angrily who gives a f*** what anyone else things. Don't take it personally. (BTW, stevenjklein is actually very hard to ruffle; I'd suspect he'd think your site is a hoot!)

if you like very geeky humor, here's one of my favorite old posts on this board: http://boards.fool.com/Message.asp?mid=20948997 , which is a link to elsewhere (it still gets me chortling).

Teller of bad puns and socially eptless,
Meg
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Your phraseology was fine, and your intent clear. My response, in case it wasn't clear, was in support of both your post and the OP.

~aj


:-O


....


Sorry, wrong response. I meant, "doh!"

Meg
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"I don't have it in me to call someone a plagiarist for passing on a joke published somewhere else. If jokes weren't retold, their lifespan would be one man's haha, and instead of standing in a circle and listening to him repeat it for our amusement, the rest of us would sit around scratching out butts and frowning at each other. Keeping a joke to oneself without passing it on should be declared a felony punishable by six months of confinement with Richard Simmons as a cellmate. I'd rather hear a bad joke, than not hear one at all. And to those critics who complain that a joke they hear/read does not make them pee their pants, all I can say is, STFU, go find a better joke and then come back and tell us, so we can all pee our pants while we shower you with recs.

OJ: What's a Jewish wife's idea of a perfect house?
6,000 sq. ft., no kitchen, no bedroom.


~aj
flagrant joke plagiarist"

Better to tell said joke out side in yard.

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How many socially enlightened persons (aka TMF censors) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No need to change the lightbulb. The flames provide plenty of illumination. :-D
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