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GitNSome Contraceptive Jelly.

GitNSome Contraceptive Jelly ("Love Lube") is a healthy part of the most enjoyable preventive maintenance scheme yet devised by man. Love Lube is not a silver bullet, however, though theoretically it could be used with one. Here are some helpful hints from our loyal, if a bit fatigued, crack research staff:

(1) Love Lube does not prevent the intrusion, irrevelant banter, scorn, derision, or other apparently necessary and proper communications from in-laws.
(2) Love Lube does not prevent the slow dawn of discomfort you may experience once you realize that your partner enjoys this quite possibly more than they have a right to.
(3) Animals just don't care, so we can't be bothered to produce a disclaimer to that effect.
(4) Love Lube does not under any circumstances prevent your boss from walking into your office as you type embarrassing and even potentially job-threatening e-mails.
(5) Love Lube does not, to our eternal regret, prevent you from bumbling through what could otherwise, in the right hands, have been a truly otherworldly experience.
(6) In fact, we aren't certain that Love Lube protects against much of anything, truth be told, because the damned researchers can't seem to find the time to document anything. Crack research staff, my arse.
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