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Great Conundrum!!!!

How would *YOU* solve this, if YOU were the judge?

>>> Let’s say a lesbian woman is in a gay civil marriage, and she chooses to save time and money, or maybe she just wants to have some fun on the side (many “lesbians” actually do sleep with straight men from time to time), and gets pregnant in the cheap, conventional way — by penis. When pregnant she assures her partner that the child will be theirs, but neglects to tell the man she’s pregnant, or her partner how she got pregnant — let’s say she lied and said she used donor sperm. Later, she files for divorce and initiates a paternity suit against the biological father at the same time in an effort to kill two birds with one stone (deep-six the lesbian lover’s custody chances and get child support at the same time). In the meanwhile, the non-maternal partner had legally adopted the child. But the man never knew he had a kid, and after he’s hit with the paternity suit he gets involved and sues for visitation, arguing that he should have a right to see the child he didn’t know about. If you’re a judge, how do you settle this? Does the non-maternal lesbian pay child support and keep visitation rights, or does the father take on that role? What does the judge do about the adoption? Does the child have the right to a relationship with his biological father, or a non-related lesbian “father?” And keep in mind that this is simply one of many possible permutations of the custody problem that could arise in lesbian civil marriages. <<<

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/11/15/gay-marriage-fallout...
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The child goes to the female who birthed the child as sole custody, but the sperm donor doesn't have to pay support.

Rationale: The only thing that can be said with certainty is that the baby was carried by someone--the so called lesbian birth mother. We don't know what/how the sperm donor will do as a father figure or even if he will reliably continue to pay support. The lesbian husband brought nothing to this party, so she's out. Left with a child to raise with no visible means of support, perhaps the lesbian birth mother will do the right thing and give up the baby for adoption to a male-female household--for the good of the child. One can only hope.
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How would *YOU* solve this, if YOU were the judge?

>>> Let’s say a lesbian woman is in a gay civil marriage, and she chooses to save time and money, or maybe she just wants to have some fun on the side (many “lesbians” actually do sleep with straight men from time to time), and gets pregnant in the cheap, conventional way — by penis. When pregnant she assures her partner that the child will be theirs, but neglects to tell the man she’s pregnant, or her partner how she got pregnant — let’s say she lied and said she used donor sperm. Later, she files for divorce and initiates a paternity suit against the biological father at the same time in an effort to kill two birds with one stone (deep-six the lesbian lover’s custody chances and get child support at the same time). In the meanwhile, the non-maternal partner had legally adopted the child. But the man never knew he had a kid, and after he’s hit with the paternity suit he gets involved and sues for visitation, arguing that he should have a right to see the child he didn’t know about. If you’re a judge, how do you settle this? Does the non-maternal lesbian pay child support and keep visitation rights, or does the father take on that role? What does the judge do about the adoption? Does the child have the right to a relationship with his biological father, or a non-related lesbian “father?” And keep in mind that this is simply one of many possible permutations of the custody problem that could arise in lesbian civil marriages. <<<


By Washington state law as I understand it, now that homosexual marriage is legal there, the biological father would be liable for child support and the ex-partner would also be liable for child support. And if the mother then had a two-year marriage with a third partner, the third partner would also be liable for child support.
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No. of Recommendations: 2
Great Conundrum!!!!

How would *YOU* solve this, if YOU were the judge?

>>> Let’s say a lesbian woman is in a gay civil marriage, and she chooses to save time and money, or maybe she just wants to have some fun on the side (many “lesbians” actually do sleep with straight men from time to time), and gets pregnant in the cheap, conventional way — by penis. When pregnant she assures her partner that the child will be theirs, but neglects to tell the man she’s pregnant, or her partner how she got pregnant — let’s say she lied and said she used donor sperm. Later, she files for divorce and initiates a paternity suit against the biological father at the same time in an effort to kill two birds with one stone (deep-six the lesbian lover’s custody chances and get child support at the same time). In the meanwhile, the non-maternal partner had legally adopted the child. But the man never knew he had a kid, and after he’s hit with the paternity suit he gets involved and sues for visitation, arguing that he should have a right to see the child he didn’t know about. If you’re a judge, how do you settle this? Does the non-maternal lesbian pay child support and keep visitation rights, or does the father take on that role? What does the judge do about the adoption? Does the child have the right to a relationship with his biological father, or a non-related lesbian “father?” And keep in mind that this is simply one of many possible permutations of the custody problem that could arise in lesbian civil marriages. <<<

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/11/15/gay-marriage-fallout......


I don't know the answer, but the answer wouldn't be unique to lesbian couples. Substitute a straight married couple where the man is sterile, and the woman gets pregnant the same way as in the example above. You run across the exact same problem.

In any case, I think it is a stupid article. Just because the author has a low opinion of marriage in general (and is willing to come up with bizarre examples as above to justify his opinion), that doesn't mean marriage is wrong for others:

"I don’t think gay marriage will make much of a difference to society in general...

However, it will make a difference for the people who actually (unwisely) get involved in a gay civil marriage, because they will suddenly become subject to the same kind of tangled mess that so many straight couples get into."


He ends the article with:

The lesson:

Be careful what you wish for


Yeah, because having greater freedom to make your own choices is such a negative overall.
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Great Conundrum!!!!

How would *YOU* solve this, if YOU were the judge?

Dwdonhoff


Uh oh, if the women in your life find out you're reading the-spearhead.com, you'll be in trouble. <g> That site is not feminist friendly.

Mike

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/11/16/the-missing-ingredie...

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/11/10/petraeus-homewrecker...

In the old days, it was widely acknowledged that girls went to college to find better husbands than would be available at the local diner. They’d sit in on classes about Renaissance art and French philosophy for a few years, write some papers, study a bit, and find the future father of their children. Today, however, it would be a terrible insult to suggest such a thing. Why, what does a man have to do with it? Women don’t chase credentials and status to snag a higher status man, you misogynist!

But they do, because it’s natural. And this is why inflating the status of young women while depressing the status of their male counterparts is turning out to be a social disaster. Few fertile women want to settle for their equal or inferior when they have access to higher status men. In such an environment, extramarital affairs are all but guaranteed.

If society were capable of being honest with itself about these sorts of things, we’d have to admit that it would have been better for everyone if, instead of racking up degrees and awards, Paula Broadwell had stuck to sewing doilies and baking cookies. That way, at least her contributions could have had a net positive effect. As it is, she did achieve something quite spectacular, but nothing to be proud of as it turns out.
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I'd apply the law in the state where this took place.

Normally, an adoption cannot be overturned.

When the birth mother let her partner legally adopt the child, she forfeited her rights to sole custody.

If I were the judge, I would:

a) Grant primary custody to the woman who adopted the kid.

b) Grant visitation to the birth mother, provided she paid child support. No more than 1 weekend a month to have the kid alone, and two weeks during the summer. She blew it when she allowed the child to be adopted by her partner. If she had intended to support the child, she never would have allowed an adoption. It was a 'dereliction of duty' and she forfeited most parental rights including custody.

c) Tell the father he has no obligations to the child since the child has been adopted. however, if he wants visitation, he will be required to pay child support to the person who legally adopted this child.


Simple.



t
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