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Thanks for the quick reply.

No, I'm not your ex :)

How do you deal with the guilt over the fact that without me she really IS alone?

If I put some space between us (definitely what is best for #1), then she'll feel that she was right - I'm a rotten unloving daughter, who doesn't care about her anymore.

I have not given her any money. I've made my own way in life since I was 16 (buying my own groceries, even when I still lived at home)

She does not know what my financial situation is like - I've told her it's not open to discussion (I'm financially better off than she thinks I am, and I'm happy to let her think I'm poor too). But, I know she expects me to give her money, otherwise "she'll end up on the street".

We've never been close -- my perspective, not what she thinks. When I was a kid I coped with an extremely mentally ill parent (my father) by building my own walls, shutting out the world around me and coping on my own. It feels like that's exactly what I need to do again. (Except this time, I've got a great boyfriend who gives really nice hugs).

She moved to my city about 1.5 years ago, after living 1000 miles away for 5 years. She lives closer to me now than any time since I moved out in 1996 -- as such, she expects to see me regularly (weekly). I'm happiest when I only see her a couple of times a year.

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