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Hi Fuskie --

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a little less than a month since my mom passed away. Her circumstances were the opposite of yours -- she was lucid, feisty, and aware of what was happening until the very end. Her body, and particularly her lungs, were simply too damaged to allow her to continue. There are no "good" ways about taking your last breath. There are just ways. As I observed it and the things that happened to her, and to us, around it, I realized that life's ending, like its beginning, is something we get to be a part of only very occasionally. I am still replaying parts of it in my head, over and over. I eventually realized that some of that is because I have nothing to connect it to -- no common experience that makes it fit easily or neatly in with other parts of life.

And of course, there is the grieving. It's such very hard work, grieving. I am still exhausted much of the time, though I'm better than I was. Give yourself time, and be gentle with yourself, no matter what your reactions are.

ThyPeace, hug.
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