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How about this: Really Bad Advice By Guys Wearing Clown Hats

Ooookay. The anonymity of the internet rears it's ugly head yet again. Well fellas, this is an open letter to all, not just the head pick-on-neo witster (rec, rec). The gloves come off now.

I definitely don't advise typical players (insert your name here) to use my secret starting hand strategy because such players (insert your name here again) don't want to win with hands like KT. And they feel guilty when they do. They even APOLOGIZE in their posts..."I was at a very passive table and normally I wouldn't think twice about folding this hand but I thought I'd mix up my play* a bit so I limped utg with KT. I flopped a straight. How do I play it?"

If I'm in the game, fold right now girlie because I'm going hit my runner, runner as you knew I would all along.

In order to be successful using my strategy one must absolutely love sucking out on the turn or river and I fear most here just don't have the walnuts to get that far. In other words, On Tilt is made up of a bunch of tight asses who, when holding KK for example, live in perpetual fear of seeing an ace fall on the river. And then write long thoughtful posts about value betting** in such circumstances.

Fellas, I'm the dude that's been reraising your big pocket pairs every step of the way with A6o. And that is on my tight days. You wanna get a load of me when I'm holding J5 and feeling frisky. I'm the subject of every third post here - whine, whine. I'm Angry Candy's nightmare come true. I'm the reason Jokey is thinking about packing it in. And TilHank...still running bad? <smirk, smirk> You don't know the meaning of the expression. Yet. You think things will improve for you in Nevada? The only thing that's going to change for you is the name of the airport, bub.

You guys fear a checkraise the way Vegas fears a blackout. Real players like me welcome czechrazors more than a starving alley cat welcomes the sight of junkyard rat's rotting corpse.

Do any of you clowns ever stop to think about why you aren't world class players? Sure you do. But you think wrong. You think about odds and how the better you know them, the better chance you'll have to someday eek out 1.5 bb an hour. You all make me want to puke. Pot odds, drawing odds, implied odds, and by God I even heard one of you mention negative implied odds the other day. WTF is that? I'll tell you what it is. Another popular expression in the losers club.

The only odds a world class player thinks about is the odds of getting one of his sissy Sklansky-Jones-disciple-opponents to fold. And if a world class player can't get his weak-sister opponent to make a big laydown***, then he just sucks out on him.

Does that sound so cuffing difficult? Well, it is. But only if you're lacking a pair.

So keep studying your books girls, and trying for that one big bet an hour. But just remember, when the tears begin to flow after suckout #5501, give ol' Neo a call if you want to learn how to play this game from the dark side.


* Mix up my play expression used by losers.
** Value betting ...another phrase losers love.
***Make a big laydown personal favourite.
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