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I am on 150mg Effexor. In a situational thing, I am hurting so much, and am so sad. I had an internet somebody since mid Oct last year (and am still very attached.) I was going to go down there on the 17th. On the 6th I e-mailed to ask his opinion on arrival times - and didn't get a reply for 24 hours. At that point, I had 2 pretty strong cocktails (my baggage: he's rejected me, I'm not important, he doesn't want me to visit,) did, what I thought was working out my feelings on my mail screen (honestly, never intending to mail the damn thing) - then got discouraged, closed it down and went away to think and cry. The thing got mailed. I got a scathing post back from my lover that he wouldn't bother me again.

Here I am, hurting, in pain, dreaming, waking up in the night repeating his name, hanging on to what was, and since he posts on TMF, I know that he is hurting too. We, desperate man and woman trusted each other. need to get out of this and on with my life. Analysis of this situation is a moot point now. Compassion is high on my list - he hasn't shown it. (both of us obviously have baggage from before and I believe that's the main reason we got to this place.)

I guess I'm needing somebody to tell me to get strong, move on, eat well, and snap out of it. I believe strongly in his right to privacy, therefore, I won't do e-mails, or phone calls, or etc. He shouldn't have to live in a hole, while I work this out with myself.

The unhappiness and sadness it taking over my life. Input is welcome.

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